Can someone please help me? (My sentences need correcting)

[emblavonprios]

Sorry if it's in romaji---I still need to Google and learn how to get my computer to type in kana characters. ^^

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K: Kono shiin, anata wa gaijinmuke no resutoran no ueetoresu de, atarashii dakara okyakusan ni chigau chuumon o agete shimau nda. Serifu oboeta?
In this scene, you are a waitress who serves foreigners, but because you are new to the workplace, you keep giving the clients the wrong order.

J: Hai, hai wakarimasu yo.
Yes, yes, I understand.

J: “Irasshaimase, koko wa kèkkoo nan dèmo aji ga ìi desu ga, o-susume wa shinsen na sashimì desu nee. “
“Welcome, I will be your server today. I recommend fresh sashimi to start with.”

K: Katto! Shinsen na sashiminakatta, o-susume wa himono desu!
Cut! It’s himono, not sashimi!

J: Shinsen na sashimi no hoo ga oishii desu kedo…
But I think sashimi tastes better...

K: Serifu wa himono desu. Mou ichi do!
The script says himono. Do it again!

J: Hai! “Irasshaimase, koko wa kèkkoo nan dèmo aji ga ìi desu ga, o-susume wa himono desu nee…”
“Welcome, I will be your server today, I recommend fresh sashimi to start with…”

K: Ii desu yo! Tsugi no serifu o hajimeru.
Good! Ok, next line, start from where you confirm the orders.

J: “Zenbu de wa yakitori o san-nin-mae to odèn o ni-nin-mae shoochi-shimashita, sugu o mochi-shimasu---”
All together, 3 pieces of yakitori, 2 pieces of oden… I’ll be bringing it soon.

K: Katto! Anata no engi wa mattaku chigau! Motto reigitadashiku shinasai yo. Kono you ni sa.
Cut! There's something wrong with your performance! You must be more polite! Like this...

J: Hehh...Metcha tsumaranai to omou yo. Asappara kara watashi ga hataraiteru node mou teinei jyanakute taikutsu shiteru njya nai? Ueetoresu wa kono shigoto akita yo!
Hehh...I think it's utterly boring. I should be more bored than polite because I've been working since morning. The waitress is tired!

K: Ueetoresu wa doushitemo teinei nan da! Mou ichi do!
Waitresses are always polite! Do it again!

J: Jaa, wakaranai n desu ga, kantan ni setsumee-shite agemashoo.
Well, I don’t undestand it, why don’t you do me a favor and show me.

K: “Zenbu de wa yakitori o san-nin-mae to odèn o ni-nin-mae shoochi-shimashita, sugu o mochi-shimasu.”
All together, 3 pieces of yakitori, 2 pieces of oden, I’ll being bringing it soon.

J: (copies the way K said/did it) “Zenbu de wa yakitori o san-nin-mae to ebi o ni-nin-mae shoochi-shimashita, sugu o mochi-shimasu.”

K: Katto! Nande chigau chuumon o agete shimau ka?
Cut! Why are you giving the wrong order!

J: Sumimasen, ki ga tsukimasen deshita.
Sorry, I didn’t realize.

K: Katto! Suguni okyakusan ni menyuu o agenakereba naranai nda yo. Okyakusan wa gohan to ocha o chuumonshita kara, chuumon wo machigaete soba o ageru ndayo. [sigh] Ma, ii ka... tsugi no shiin ni isogimashou. Akushon!
Cut! You're supposed to give the customers to menu right away. And since they ordered rice and tea, you're supposed to give them noodles. [sigh] Let's forget about that and move on to the next line. Action.

J: “Kyoo ni…”

K: Katto!

J: Mada nani mo ittenai noni!
But I haven't even said anything yet!

K: Kamera ni menshinai! Mou ichi do!
You’re not facing the camera! Do it again!

J: Shigoto ni taerare shinai! Yameru!
I can’t stand this job! I quit!