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Practice for Final

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Practice for Final

Postby rizu » Tue 11.28.2006 11:26 am

みなさん、おはようございます!

I have a final next week (time flies) and for part of the written exam we need to write 6 sentences about our Thanksgiving. We had to use certain things (-na adj. +noun, -i adj., frequency words, etc.) so it might sound a little strange. Please let me know if anything I have here doesn't make any sense. Just keep in mind that I am in the beginner level class so it will be very basic Japanese. Thanks!

木曜日に処鼬雌?三日にかれし(ライアン)とかれしのお姉さんのうちでサンクスギビングのばんごはんを食べました。あたらしかった食べ物と飲み物はとてもおいしかったですよ。ライアンのおいとめいはあまり静かじゃありませんでした。でも、たのしかった、元気な子供でした。午後五時ごろだいどころでつまらなくありませんゲームをしました。それから、私とライアンはアパートにかえりました。

I highlighted in red some areas that I am very unsure of. I either don't know how to fix them or I simply don't know if they are right. Any help would be appreciated. ^_^
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RE: Practice for Final

Postby LaughingMan » Tue 11.28.2006 2:33 pm

I couldn't thoroughly analyze the whole thing since I'm at school and running a bit short on time, but here are a couple of things that stood out to me:

rizu wrote:
あたらしかった食べ物と飲み物はとてもおいしかったですよ。

I'm not too sure here, but I think あたらしい would make more sense in describing the food and drinks. It's hard to word it, but I believe it's because the food and drinks were new at the Thanksgiving dinner, so if you go back to refer to that experience, you would still say the food was new in the present tense. I'm actually wondering about this too. If anyone could add additional input to this, I'd be thankful.

でも、たのしかった、元気な子供でした

Here, are you trying to say, "But it was fun. There were some energetic children." (Rough translation) If so, it's better worded as 元気な子供がいました(から)- not sure if you've learned the から form yet, so you might be able to just drop it.
When I read it, I interpreted it as "But it was fun, we were energetic children." More literally translating my suggestion, it'd be "(because) energetic children existed (there)." or "energetic children were there." to make more sense in English. I used the verb いました, which is the polite, past form of the verb いる (literally, "to exist"), a more suitable word if you're trying to say what I think you're trying to say.

Anyway, I hope I was helpful and not totally off-the-ball. Oh well, the more experienced members will probably come to offer you advice too. ;)

Really, I'm impressed by your language ability already, especially considering you're only on a beginner's course (I'm assuming college). My friend's fourth-year Japanese class at his school still has trouble with simple verb conjugations (plain form, -て form, etc.) It's only high school, but you would expect them to be more competent.

Keep up the good work. :)
Last edited by LaughingMan on Tue 11.28.2006 3:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Practice for Final

Postby rizu » Tue 11.28.2006 3:09 pm

Thank you! I appreciate the corrections. I have the rest of the week to work on it, so I hope by then it is perfect.
In terms of 新しい − 新しかった I had read that it can also mean "fresh" which was the meaning I was hoping for... although I am sure there is a better word (if anyone knows it please throw it out there. ^_^). At first I put the present form but... then I was unsure of myself and so change it to past. I thought present made more sense... I will change it back. Thanks!
Last edited by rizu on Tue 11.28.2006 3:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Practice for Final

Postby rizu » Tue 11.28.2006 3:47 pm

I rewrote some parts. Hopefully I didn't add onto my mistakes.

木曜日に処鼬雌?三日にかれし(ライアン)とかれしのお姉さんの新しいうちでサンクスギビングの晩ご飯をたべました。 ターキーやスタッフイングやエグノグはとてもおいしかったですよ。 ライアンのハンサムなおいとかわいいめいはあまり静か子供じゃありませんでした。でも、日はつまらなくありめせんでした。午後五時ごろだいどころでライアンのかぞくとにぎやかなゲームをしました。それから、私とライアンはきれい、静かなアパートにかえりました。
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RE: Practice for Final

Postby rizu » Wed 11.29.2006 1:51 pm

Anyone have any corrections or suggestions for my rewrite?
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RE: Practice for Final

Postby richvh » Wed 11.29.2006 2:20 pm

ライアンのハンサムなおいとかわいいめいはあまり静か子供じゃありませんでした。

静か[color=green[/color]な子供
木曜日に処鼬雌?三日にかれし(ライアン)とかれしのお姉さんの新しいうちでサンクスギビングの晩ご飯をたべました。

ライアンというかれしといっしょにかれしのお姉さん…
Without a と一緒に or と共に it sounds like the new home is your boyfriend's and his sister's.
Richard VanHouten
ゆきの物語
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RE: Practice for Final

Postby rizu » Wed 11.29.2006 3:27 pm

Thank you!
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RE: Practice for Final

Postby coco » Thu 11.30.2006 10:35 am

あたらしかった食べ物と飲み物はとてもおいしかったですよ。

新鮮(しんせん)な食べ物
新鮮な野菜(やさい)、新鮮な果物(くだもの)、新鮮な魚(さかな)

A word 新鮮 is rather used for the foods prepared without heat( not boiled, not baked).

その果物は、とても新鮮だった。
新鮮な魚は、刺身(さしみ)で食べるとおいしい。
新鮮な空気(くうき)
新鮮な牛乳(ぎゅうにゅう)

For dishes with(?) heat, 作りたての料理/ できたての料理 (焼きたての七面鳥) might work, I guess.

新(あたら)しい飲み物 sounds like "new product(new brand product) " drink.

Hope it makes sense.
Last edited by coco on Thu 11.30.2006 10:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Practice for Final

Postby rizu » Thu 11.30.2006 11:00 am

Ah, yes, that makes sense. Thank you.

I have changed it up a bit so that some of the unclear bits are possibly less ambiguous. I moved "atarashii" so it describes the house. But I will keep those in mind for future reference.
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RE: Practice for Final

Postby coco » Thu 11.30.2006 1:32 pm

いえいえ、どういたしまして。 :)
I try to explain some.
As a LaughingMan -san said, たのしかった、元気な子供でした is "But it was fun. There were some energetic children."

私とライアンはきれい、静かなアパートにかえりました。has a sound like " I and Ryan(?=ライアン) are beautiful. We got back to a quiet apartmentwent."
clean, quiet apartment ?
If so, I think you can use で as conjunction.
私とライアンは【きれい静かな】アパートにかえりました。
http://www.guidetojapanese.org/compound.html#part1
this site would help you.

でも、たのしかった、元気な子供でした。might be たのしく元気な子供でした。

でも、日はつまらなくありませんでした。

I'm not sure if でも is appropriate word or not.
Could you please explain more about this sentence?
(おかげで)その日は退屈しませんでした。might be one of choices.

Related thread.
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RE: Practice for Final

Postby rizu » Thu 11.30.2006 1:56 pm

coco wrote:
いえいえ、どういたしまして。 :)
I try to explain some.
As a LaughingMan -san said, たのしかった、元気な子供でした is "But it was fun. There were some energetic children."


Okay. Hmm... I might rewrite that entire thing. But I think that sounds fine, I guess.

coco wrote:
私とライアンはきれい、静かなアパートにかえりました。has a sound like " I and Ryan(?=ライアン) are beautiful. We got back to a quiet apartmentwent."
clean, quiet apartment ?
If so, I think you can use で as conjunction.
私とライアンは【きれい静かな】アパートにかえりました。
http://www.guidetojapanese.org/compound.html#part1
this site would help you.


Thank you. I did want to say "Ryan and I went back to our clean, quiet apartment." not "Ryan and I are beautiful...." ^_^

coco wrote:
でも、たのしかった、元気な子供でした。might be たのしく元気な子供でした。

でも、日はつまらなくありませんでした。

I'm not sure if でも is appropriate word or not.
Could you please explain more about this sentence?
(おかげで)その日は退屈しませんでした。might be one of choices.

Related thread.


I wanted to say "But, the day was not boring." See... the problem is that I have to write 6 sentences using very specific things for my class. Some of the sentences sound a little strange because I am trying to use all of the things on the checklist in the limited number of sentences. The last thing I needed was to use an -i adj. as a predicate in a negative sentence. Heh... :*( I'll keep trying...
Last edited by rizu on Thu 11.30.2006 2:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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