Script - Trying to write monologue and need help!

Feel free to practice writing in Japanese or romaji. Help each other out with corrections or replying back in Japanese
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Script - Trying to write monologue and need help!

Post by prep_girl_Nessa » Mon 04.02.2007 11:36 am

Hey all! Hope all of you are well!

For my Arts First class, we have to do this monologue thing, so I decided to write it in Japanese and have a friend 'translate' it incorrectly. I'm not going to tell them what it means and make them think I'm actually insulting them, but I kinda want to practice this kind of speech.

I wrote it out, but I'm not sure about a lot of things in it, and I was hoping you guys could help me.

So far, I have (B is Becca, my translator, and DA is my name in the monologue):

B: I would like to introduce the head of our parent company, Mrs. Domyouji Ayumi.
*walk on*
B: Good morning, everyone.
B: She likes your red shoes.
DA: 日本に帰るの時から、お前らはこのビジネスを滅ばしますよ!全部会社で大ピンチを作ります。何でんですか?なんでなの?
B: I'm sorry, she meant blue shoes.
DA: *to Becca* えっ、何言ってんなの?日本人じゃないの?
B: Brown? Black?
DA: やっぱり!これも台無しになる!アメリカ人はバカよ!
B: ...purple?
DA:*to self* 何で私行ったのか?もちろんだめだよね。*to class*皆と絶っていいよ!何でもないよ!
B: Oh, she likes your pink shirt!
DA: *glare at Becca* その感じで,全部皆が、この瞬間から、首になります!
B: Yup, she definitely likes your shirt.
DA: *glare, walk off*
B: *follows* Wait, purple shirt? Green shirt? Wait!

One thing I was worried about was formal vs. informal speech. I tried to keep it formal when I was talking to the group, but sometimes I thought informal was more appropriete. And I talk to Becca informally, because at that point I'm kinda startled at her obvious mistranslation.

Any ideas or corrections would be appreciated, I think it needs to be a bit longer anyways ^_^"
Last edited by prep_girl_Nessa on Mon 04.02.2007 11:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
- Harumi Nessa - 熱砂 春美(Just kidding ^_^'')
'Do you know what it feels like, loving someone who's in a rush to throw you away?
Do you know what it feels like, to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?
' - Enrique Iglesias <3

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