Writing a birthday card

[ess_jay_arr]

Hey everyone, I'm trying to write a card for my friend, but... I've never practiced calligraphy, or even handwriting in Japanese.

I've posted my first few attempts below. Please can someone tell me how I'm doing, and what I need to improve. Obviously, it's not going to be perfect, I just want it to be good enough that it doesn't ruin her birthday.

By the way, I'm using acrylic paint. I know it's not ideal, but I'm not gonna go out and buy some expensive ink that I'm only gonna use once.

Any and all comments and nitpicks appreciated!

[Yudan Taiteki]

Any of those are fine; IMO #1 and 3 are better than 2, but that's just my personal opinion.

[ess_jay_arr]

Yudan Taiteki wrote:
Any of those are fine; IMO #1 and 3 are better than 2, but that's just my personal opinion.

Really? No criticisms at all? That's... surprising.

I'm sure I could do at least a little bit better with some pointers.

Anyway, thanks. I might go with #3 after all.

[furin]

Great writing. I'm not flattering you.
Using acrylic paint is also fine, I suppose.
You didn't stop some strokes but no problem.

IMHO, in this case, what the most important point of them is "Dear Yuuki" part, I guess.
I agree with your choice #3.

But I never believe these are your first tries.

[coco]

Nice works!
わたしも3番目のものがいちばんいいと思います。
ゆうきさん も きっと驚くと思いますよ。

[ss]

Good attempt!
I also prefer the 3rd one.
Try to catch a good balance of your words, it will be perfect!

[ess_jay_arr]

皆さん、ありがとうございます！

I already had a few more attempts before I read your comments... actually, a lot more attempts!



Some of them were quite bad, but I think I can use one of these six...



I think I messed up the ゆ in 'b'... and the 生 looks too small in 'e'... I think I prefer 'a', or maybe 'c'... but I don't really know what makes calligraphy good or bad... and they're starting to look a bit the same.

What do you think?

よろしくお願いします！

[AJBryant]

One thing... you might want to reconsider how you're making your ゆ -- they really look more like aり with an extra vertical line.


Tony

[coco]

I like "e".
Especially と and で in "e".

[ss]

I prefer "f", it is neater.

[Temari]

I think "F" looks nice

[flammable hippo]

C and F are my favorites.