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Essay help

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Essay help

Postby PandanoTake » Mon 05.08.2006 3:14 pm

I have to do a short essay for Japanese class and I need some help. could you please tell me if the following is correct?

Watashi no namae ha edo desu. Soshite, takusan no nikkuneemu ga arimasu. Retteru wo haru koto ga daikirai desu. Dakara, taitei, retteru de kubetsu wo (ita)shimasen. Niku wo tabemasen. Watashi ha totemo shai desu yo. Demo, tomodachi to ha shai dewa arimasen. Dansu wo dekimasen. Demo, ganbarimasu. Watashi no tomodachi ha taisetsuna hito desu. Itsumo, (watashi ha) ayamarimasu. Hito wo sumairu saseru no ga suki desu. Kaimono ga suki desu. Soshite, tomodachi to kaimono wo suru ga daisuki desu. Panda ga suki desu. Takusan gengo wo shitte arimasu. Watashi no ketsuekigata wo shirimasen. Watashi no uchi de okaasan to neko ni imasu. Okaasan no namae ha Mearii desu. Soshite, neko no namae ha Cherushii desu. Demo, neko no nikkuneemu ha bakaneko desu, yo. Haruyasumi de, Nihon ni ikimashita. Soshite, kotoshi no kaki, tabun mata nihon ni iku tsumori desu. Kotoshi no kaki, yooroppu wo houmon shimasu. Takusan ongaku wo kikimasu. Eiga wo mimasu. Soshite, hon wo yomimasu. Tokidoki, terebi wo mimasu.

If you need it in Japanese, I'll type it up later when I get home.
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RE: Essay help

Postby richvh » Mon 05.08.2006 3:28 pm

Soshite, tomodachi to kaimono wo suru ga daisuki desu.

You need a "no" or "koto" after "suru".
Takusan gengo wo shitte arimasu.

"Imasu", not "arimasu"
Watashi no uchi de okaasan to neko ni imasu.

"uchi ni", "neko ga"
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RE: Essay help

Postby PandanoTake » Mon 05.08.2006 3:31 pm

Thanks but I don't think anything is wrong with the shopping one. are you sure? I looked that part over with my sensei.
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RE: Essay help

Postby richvh » Mon 05.08.2006 3:39 pm

Yeah, just checked google hits. するが好き gets a mere 4460 hits, compared to nearly a million and a half for するのが好き or 185,000 for することが好き or 36,000 for する事が好き.
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RE: Essay help

Postby Oyaji » Mon 05.08.2006 9:40 pm

The object of が好き needs to be in noun form, so you do need to make the verb する into a noun by adding の or こと. Of course 買い物が好き is fine as is, because 買い物 is a noun.

Overall, your essay looks very good. Here are just a few things I noticed that you might want to consider.

そして is used when listing things: 太郎、次郎、そして花子 or to connect consecutive actions: 映画を見て、そして食事しました。We watched a movie, and then ate dinner. In this case I would probably say: 名前はエドですが、ニックネームもたくさんあります。

が is usually used instead of を with できません.  ダンスができません。

いつもあやまっています is probably a better way to say "I'm always apologizing."

春休みに、日本に行きました。Another common way to say this would be: 春休み中、日本に行きました。

You should use either たぶん or つもり but not both together. Together it sounds like "I probably intend...."

Are you using kaki to mean summer (夏期)? Normally 夏(なつ) alone would be used in this case.

You could probably do away with most of the 私はs and 私のs, although in the "friend" section, to make it clear that it is you who is apologizing and not your friend you could say 私は、いつもあやまっていますor another way would be いつも彼にあやまっています。

Good luck with our (oops, your) homework. ;) Hope this helps.

(Shouldn't this be in either the "Translation Questions" or "Practice Japanese" forum?)
Last edited by Oyaji on Mon 05.08.2006 10:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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