View topic - Insisting to pay
In the first case, we went out to eat and insisted on picking up the entire bill. Maybe this wouldn't be inappropriate since we were the ones who had invited them out to eat. Or maybe that's just the American way of looking at it.
In the second case, we had spent a lot of time with one guy who kept paying for the things we did. We ended up going to karaoke, and when it came time to pay, my sister put her 5,000 yen bill up on the counter. This was not the entire amount of the cost, but it was more than her fair share, and she would not let our friend pay her for the difference. We actually made quite a scene right there in the building in front of the clerks. It was hilarious at the time, but looking back.... Were we really rude?
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In the second case, uh... I dunno. I think if you had a laugh about it, then you shouldn't worry about having been rude. I've heard that to some extent, Japanese expect foreigners to be rude, and make allowances for it.
Anyway, I'm by no means an expert, so this reply is just to tide you over until someone who knows more about it answers you.
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It's rare for the woman to pay for the man. The usual thing is that the man pays for himself and the woman, or each one pays for his/her own. If a woman does a scene at the counter or in front of the clerks and ends up paying the bill of both, the man will feel embarrassed as hell ("they insulted his manhood").
But, again, I don't know how it's in Japan.
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it's a still a situation that, unless you know the person or their habits, it is hard to say.
If the situation where you were at karaoke and your friend kept paying the bill, it would be most appropriate to let them keep paying. Again, if you know them well, you can of course use the appropriate enryo to let them know you would rather pay (it's a give an take, you don't want to offend them, but at the same time, you let them know that by them paying for everything, you feel offended.) you don't do it ina strong way, and by no means to you act all tough about it..
it's like receiveing gifts in Japan. You take a gift over when you visit, but they never take it on you first, second or even sometimes, third offering of the gift.
AGain, this is my experience and most of this is my dealings of 15 years ( on and off) in country, but, that was more than a decade ago.. so, things might have changed some
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