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Relationship help.

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Relationship help.

Postby Parks San » Sat 08.19.2006 2:16 am

There is a girl that i have to teach japanese to for my senior project, at first I just thought of her as just a girl, but now i can't stop thinking about her, when im near her my heartbeats fast and my hands shake. her boyfriend just broke up with her and when she was telling me that over the phone, my heart felt like it was actually hurting and my hands were shaking more. Now she wants to go out with this other guy that she arely knows. what should i do. she speaks german, greek, english, and very little japanese. I think i may be in love, this has never happened to me. someone help please!
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RE: Relationship help.

Postby magma » Sat 08.19.2006 2:20 am

I think the manga thing to do would be to confess your love via an anonymous note placed in her locker. Make sure you write it all in Japanese so that she has to learn it to be able to read it. Keep leaving her anonymous notes in Japanese and teaching her how to read them until she figures out who the author was.

If you don't want to do that, I recommend waiting until your project is over to confess your feelings, lest that skew the results.

For further guidance, I recommend watching Kare Kano.
Last edited by magma on Sat 08.19.2006 2:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Relationship help.

Postby Parks San » Sat 08.19.2006 2:22 am

magma wrote:
I think the manga thing to do would be to confess your love via an anonymous note placed in her locker. Make sure you write it all in Japanese so that she has to learn it to be able to read it. Keep leaving her anonymous notes in Japanese and teaching her how to read them until she figures out who the author was.

If you don't want to do that, I recommend waiting until your project is over to confess your feelings, lest that skew the results.

Well i am the only person she knows that can write in japanese so i think she might become suspicious.
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RE: Relationship help.

Postby magma » Sat 08.19.2006 2:26 am

Well i am the only person she knows that can write in japanese so i think she might become suspicious.


In that case, make her translate the note herself. ;) Yes, the love-confession note will be the final and most romantic test of her Japanese ability! Wow, that's great stuff, I need to write this down for submission to a shoujo-mag...
Last edited by magma on Sat 08.19.2006 2:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Locker???

Postby Parks San » Sat 08.19.2006 2:29 am

I don't even know if she has a locker... but i wish that she wouldn't go out with jerks. her last boyfriend cheated on her and it makes me so mad i just cant help but be angry.
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RE: Relationship help.

Postby magma » Sat 08.19.2006 2:39 am

Speaking from experience, you don't really need to confess your feelings. The best thing to do is just be a good friend and listen to her. Girls like to talk and feel like somebody understands their circumstances. They appreciate the kind, patient sort who is willing to listen. Some girls talk so much, you almost don't need to say anything more than "uh-huh", "oh, really?", "wow, that must have been awful!", etc. (what Japanese call aizuchi).

If you feel so motivated, you could tell her that you're available to go out for a walk or to share a meal--any kind of activity where it's easy to talk (movies aren't so good--you can't talk during them).

If she tries, do NOT let her kiss you. That kind of physical stuff often leads to a false sense of intimacy, and besides, playing hard to get only increases the attraction. ;)

I wouldn't worry about that other guy. She'll either get tired of him after a while, or they'll be a perfect match and get married. Either way, she can still be a good friend. The worst thing you can do is make your life all about her. It's always a bad idea to make your life all about another human being. People weren't meant to satisfy eachother's needs in every way, so don't think you can do that for her (that's God's job if it's anybody's).
Last edited by magma on Sat 08.19.2006 2:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Relationship help.

Postby LaughingMan » Sat 08.19.2006 4:07 am

Magma, have you ever considered opening up your own hotline?

Seriously, though, the man speaks truth (or very agreeable opinions, anyway). What I think is that, at this point in time, the girl doesn't feel any sincere romantic interest in the guy that you said she wants to start dating. Her breaking up with her old boyfriend seems to have left these feelings of insecurity within herself. Just my perspective. (I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about.)

Having not watched Kare Kano, my advice is far inferior to that of Magma's. I agree with him that the best course of action would be to sit it out right now and just be there for her whenever she needs help. It may be too soon for you to confess your feelings towards her. She seems to be in a very vulnerable state right now. Just be a good friend on call whenever she needs one. When she settles down and gets her act together, perhaps then would be an opportune (Is that a word? . . . Okay, so it is.) moment. Until then, we'll try to see what we can do for you here.

For further guidance, I recommend watching Densha Otoko.
「このノートに名前を書かれた人間は死ぬ」
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RE: Relationship help.

Postby Ongakuka » Sat 08.19.2006 5:00 am

I'm going to say what they always say in Disney movies: Just tell the girl how ya feel! Then you'll get one of three reactions:

1. Slap (It feels nice, trust me)
2. I'm sorry, I just don't feel that way (painful)
3. Oh, I don't knokw what to say... (SCORE!)
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RE: Relationship help.

Postby LeGasp » Sat 08.19.2006 8:20 am

Just be sure that your relationship doesn't suddenly become a friendship. It's happened to me but I can't complain shes a great friend too! :D
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RE: How about this?

Postby Parks San » Sat 08.19.2006 9:41 am

Okay there is a beautiful park and i asked her if she and I could go September 4 (labor Day) to a picnic, then we'd feed the ducks....and learn some japanese, i said the last thing to her almost as if it wasn't there. That was last wednesday.
I am cooking for her and i am getting this beautiful wicker picnic basket. so i think she's either just friends with the other guy or he is a rebound guy. She says she cannot wait for sept 4 so is she dropping me hints or something, I thank you all for the help.
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RE: Relationship help.

Postby redfoxer » Sat 08.19.2006 9:52 am

lol, im sorry to be the only negative one here (more realistic than anything), first off, i dont think its love your talking about, its most likely infactuation, lust if you will. Love doesn't revolve around obssesion. If you really loved her, you'd try to be there for her, no matter who she goes out with, not try to stop her from going out with anyone else but you.

Secondly (on a more constructive side), just be yourself, talk to her, get to know her, ask her questions that lead her to talk about herself (girls love to talk, and they like people who will listen).
I absolutely agree with magma about the whole ignoring thing; humans, in general, love the chase. Make her miss you and think of you. You can find out alot about how a girl feels about you if they do/don't chase you. "People always want what they can't have".

And if you do tell her how you feel (like ongakuka-san said, the worst thing really that could happen is that they don't return your feelings and that does hurt but time heals wounds) and she wants to just be friends, she most likely only wants to be friends (with a few exeptions). Girls usually know who they like within the first couple of days meeting someone new (friends zone thing is very real). I only know of one couple who were friends before they became lovers, but only because everyone was trying to get them together.

Don't take what ive said too seriously, i mean im just a guy on the net. lol.
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RE: Relationship help.

Postby Sorako » Sat 08.19.2006 10:34 am

Personally, I liked the note-idea. I'm a girl, and I think that'd be one of the most awesome ideas ever. xD Go figure.

The picnic idea is great. Just don't run it in the ground by doing it more than once, though. As great as conventional romantics are, they can get old. I guess that's why the note thing popped out at me--it's not like...candle-lit-dinner-Frank-Sinatra romantic. It's original (sorta). Originality is what hits best on the receiving end.

redfoxer said:
Girls usually know who they like within the first couple of days meeting someone new (friends zone thing is very real). I only know of one couple who were friends before they became lovers, but only because everyone was trying to get them together.


Not necessarily true. I'm currently dating a guy I was friends with for over a year, and we've been dating successfully for...*counts on fingers* almost 11months. However, with most girls the friend-zone IS true, but the problem with that is you don't show your romantic side to them and you're too busy getting caught up in your own emotional stuff.

You gotta unleash that firey, romantic spirit that rests inside of all young men, whether they like it or not. ;)
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RE: ...

Postby Parks San » Sat 08.19.2006 11:42 am

I'm not trying to prevent her from seeing the other guy, it's just that I don't want to see her cry, because for some odd reason it kinda hurts me on the inside to hear her cry, also she is on the rebound and so is the other guy so I dont think they will last long and then i will hear her cry again, i just want her to be happy what ever she does. I am not one of those guys who just finds a girl and dates them, i have never felt this way toward anyone ever and it kind of scares me.
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RE: Relationship help.

Postby kanadajin » Sat 08.19.2006 5:27 pm

Ask her out.. The worst she can do is say no. If she does say no then she'll know you like her, and that might make her start to like you. even if your the shyist person on earth once you get it over with it's easy. Also if she does say no you wont be feeling that way anymore, you might still like her but you wont shake and whatever. If she says yes after a few days you shouldn't shake and feel nervous around her.

Believe me, once you ask a girl out and get rejected the next time you want to ask someone out, it should be a peice of cake.

EDIT: another little tip, you HAVE to remember. There ARE other girls like her out there, if you keep that in mind you wont be nervous around her.
Last edited by kanadajin on Sat 08.19.2006 5:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Relationship help.

Postby kyashi » Sat 08.19.2006 6:21 pm

For further guidance, I recommend watching Kare Kano.


ha ha i love that series very much !!! i read the manga too up to 10 i think..
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