What's your opinion? Lemme know!

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What's your opinion? Lemme know!

Post by StarvingMusician » Thu 09.20.2007 4:18 am

I have something here. Is it more affective if I replace the 'she's to 'you's?

When she speaks,
there's a soothing innocence.
When she sings,
I hear a ringing harp.
She resonates amidst the ocean
of dandelions.
She's the sunflower in the garden.
Her delicate words brimming
with hope.
The shine of her honeyed
petals spring the daylight.
"If we've only got one try, if we've only got one life. If time, was never on our side. Well before I die, I wanna burn out bright."

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RE: What's your opinion? Lemme know!

Post by Infidel » Thu 09.20.2007 4:55 am

affective > effective.

Well, the answer depends. Are you trying to make this syncronize with some music or follow some form of meter? Then the answer depends on the meter.

Keep in mind that if you change the she's you will also need to change the verbs.

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