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~てくださいませんか vs ~ていただけませんか

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~てくださいませんか vs ~ていただけませんか

Postby ThePacster » Mon 06.08.2009 5:29 pm

Hello everyone. Another day, another piece of grammar I try to squeeze into my brain.

I've reached a new chapter in my book which talks about different levels of politeness, and it mentions ~てくださいませんか as a way to make a request, but also noted that ~ていただけませんか that I've already learned is more polite.

The only forms I know of prior to this in order of politeness are:

~ていただけませんか
~てくれませんか
~てくれない?

As far as I know ~ていただけませんか is good for situations with non-peers and strangers when making a request and ~てくれない in casual speech with people you know well, but overall I'm having a hard time defining what is the appropriate situation to use which. Any help shedding light on this would be greatly appreciated.
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Re: ~てくださいませんか vs ~ていただけませんか

Postby coco » Mon 06.08.2009 8:45 pm

ThePacster wrote:but overall I'm having a hard time defining what is the appropriate situation to use which.

Are you asking about some situations in which only ~てくれませんか( or ~てくださいませんか) is used instead of ~ていただけませんか?
---
Edit:the previous thread about the same topic is here.
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Re: ~てくださいませんか vs ~ていただけませんか

Postby ThePacster » Tue 06.09.2009 8:15 am

coco wrote:
ThePacster wrote:but overall I'm having a hard time defining what is the appropriate situation to use which.

Are you asking about some situations in which only ~てくれませんか( or ~てくださいませんか) is used instead of ~ていただけませんか?
---
Edit:the previous thread about the same topic is here.


Yes. :D It seems there are variety of ways to convey this same meaning, with a degree of politeness being the only thing to distinguish between them. I can't really picture a situation where one would be "too polite" or "not polite enough" if that makes sense.
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Re: ~てくださいませんか vs ~ていただけませんか

Postby Harisenbon » Tue 06.09.2009 8:59 am

ThePacster wrote:I can't really picture a situation where one would be "too polite" or "not polite enough" if that makes sense.


You should probably brush up a little on Japanese culture, and the definitions of "in-groups" and "out-groups."
Politeness plays a very big role in Japanese society, and there are many cases where the language you use can be too polite, thus building a wall between yourself and the person you are speaking to, or not polite enough, at which point you are just being rude.

We have the same thing in english.
Would you please get me a cup of tea?
Won't you get me a cup of tea?
Get me some tea?
No tea?
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Re: ~てくださいませんか vs ~ていただけませんか

Postby ThePacster » Tue 06.09.2009 9:34 am

Harisenbon wrote:
ThePacster wrote:I can't really picture a situation where one would be "too polite" or "not polite enough" if that makes sense.


You should probably brush up a little on Japanese culture, and the definitions of "in-groups" and "out-groups."
Politeness plays a very big role in Japanese society, and there are many cases where the language you use can be too polite, thus building a wall between yourself and the person you are speaking to, or not polite enough, at which point you are just being rude.

We have the same thing in english.
Would you please get me a cup of tea?
Won't you get me a cup of tea?
Get me some tea?
No tea?


You've pretty much summed up as much as I know in regards to groups in politeness, and I will make a point to go brush up on that topic. Unfortunately at the moment I'm doing self study since I won't be back in school for a few months, so I have no where else get more detailed information on these things. As far as I understand, however, ~てくださいませんか and ~ていただけませんか are both polite, but one is just a little more polite. If I could see a scenario where one should be used rather than the other they would probably make a little more sense.
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Re: ~てくださいませんか vs ~ていただけませんか

Postby coco » Tue 06.09.2009 9:47 am

This Shiniro-san's post  might be useful.  :)

I think picking phrases is less difficult than you thought.
Let's try some. (Sorry for my poor English.)

Scene1;
At a station, you bought a wrong ticket to your destination and you need to refund the ticket and then have to buy a ticket of correct charge. You try to ask a station attendant.
What will you say?

Scene2:
At a coffee shop, where you and your friend decided to meet, your friend got there before you came. When you arrived there, he said that he had finished reading a manga magazine while waiting for you. You are interested in his magazine. You try to ask him to give his magazine to you.
Which phrase seems to be appropriate?

Scene3:
On the street, your friend was bumped by a car. You needed to call an ambulance for your friend. But unfortunately you left your cellphone at your home. There was no public phone near here. You have to ask someone that you want to use his/her cellphone.
What do you say?
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Re: ~てくださいませんか vs ~ていただけませんか

Postby sampaguita » Sun 06.21.2009 8:01 am

coco wrote:This Shiniro-san's post  might be useful.  :)

I think picking phrases is less difficult than you thought.
Let's try some. (Sorry for my poor English.)

Scene1;
At a station, you bought a wrong ticket to your destination and you need to refund the ticket and then have to buy a ticket of correct charge. You try to ask a station attendant.
What will you say?

Scene2:
At a coffee shop, where you and your friend decided to meet, your friend got there before you came. When you arrived there, he said that he had finished reading a manga magazine while waiting for you. You are interested in his magazine. You try to ask him to give his magazine to you.
Which phrase seems to be appropriate?

Scene3:
On the street, your friend was bumped by a car. You needed to call an ambulance for your friend. But unfortunately you left your cellphone at your home. There was no public phone near here. You have to ask someone that you want to use his/her cellphone.
What do you say?


Hello, coco! Is it okay if I answer the questions instead?

1. -te itadakemasen ka?/-te kudasaimasen ka?
2. -te kuremasen ka?
3. -te itadakenai deshou ka? / -te kudasai (if you're panicking)

Did I make any mistake?
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Re: ~てくださいませんか vs ~ていただけませんか

Postby coco » Sun 06.21.2009 6:04 pm

sampaguita wrote:Did I make any mistake?

間違いはありません。 :)

1. -te itadakemasen ka?/-te kudasaimasen ka?

Your answer is nothing wrong. But I rather say ~てもらえませんか/~てくれませんか, since it is their duty to refund an unused ticket. 
2. -te kuremasen ka?

Although it depends on the depth of relationship between you and your friend, くれない?, くれる? and もらえる? all work well.

3. -te itadakenai deshou ka?

I also use ~ていただけないでしょうか in that situation. :)

-te kudasai (if you're panicking)

If I am panicking, I shout just "携帯、貸して!!". :lol:  
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