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the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

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the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby chiisu321 » Thu 12.11.2008 11:31 am

I feel really dumb for not knowing the difference, but I've never need to say this to a person before. usually im just saying i like this food i like that activity.
anyway i want to learn the difference.
here is the situation: telling the guy i like that i LIKE him (i dont want to mess up and tell him that i love him)
I just turned off my hiragana program so please bare with my romaji

anata ga suki desu
anata no koto ga suki desu

which is which? i don't know.
I'm like, trying to confess my feelings, but i don't want to come on really strong and say "I love you" from the get go. We go out on dates, but neither of us has confessed it.....

If there is something better i could say, telling me would be nice. haha

I live in Japan, he's japanese, i'm american. (i thought you should know).......i could just say it to him in english....no. haha i can just imagine the misunderstandings
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Re: the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby two_heads_talking » Thu 12.11.2008 11:39 am

chiisu321 wrote:I feel really dumb for not knowing the difference, but I've never need to say this to a person before. usually im just saying i like this food i like that activity.
anyway i want to learn the difference.
here is the situation: telling the guy i like that i LIKE him (i dont want to mess up and tell him that i love him)
I just turned off my hiragana program so please bare with my romaji

anata ga suki desu
anata no koto ga suki desu

which is which? i don't know.
I'm like, trying to confess my feelings, but i don't want to come on really strong and say "I love you" from the get go. We go out on dates, but neither of us has confessed it.....

If there is something better i could say, telling me would be nice. haha

I live in Japan, he's japanese, i'm american. (i thought you should know).......i could just say it to him in english....no. haha i can just imagine the misunderstandings


Both could mean I love you and both could mean I like you.

However, if memory serves me correctly, Anata no koto ga suki desu, is a stronger statement than, Anata ga suki desu.

The real question here is, do you really know the difference between love and like when you only know someone for a short time?
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Re: the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby chiisu321 » Thu 12.11.2008 11:52 am

wow, way to get epic. haha

I think it doesn't matter if I know the difference. I only want to say "i like you"
After a short time or a long time, it makes sense to say this. =/ To tell the other person you're interested, but not some crazy love struck fool :roll:

If I wanted to say "i love you" it'd be a different story.
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Re: the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby two_heads_talking » Thu 12.11.2008 12:02 pm

chiisu321 wrote:wow, way to get epic. haha

I think it doesn't matter if I know the difference. I only want to say "i like you"
After a short time or a long time, it makes sense to say this. =/ To tell the other person you're interested, but not some crazy love struck fool :roll:

If I wanted to say "i love you" it'd be a different story.


Please, realise it wasn't a direct question to you, but rather a general question to be pondered..
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Re: the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby chiisu321 » Thu 12.11.2008 12:07 pm

two_heads_talking wrote:
chiisu321 wrote:wow, way to get epic. haha

I think it doesn't matter if I know the difference. I only want to say "i like you"
After a short time or a long time, it makes sense to say this. =/ To tell the other person you're interested, but not some crazy love struck fool :roll:

If I wanted to say "i love you" it'd be a different story.


Please, realise it wasn't a direct question to you, but rather a general question to be pondered..

you remind me of my friend. he always asks "ponder" questions and i'm not quick enough to pick up on it.

anyway. i think what u said about anata ga suki desu, is right. on tv, this is usually what they say. but if i ever watch a movie with translations, the subs will say "i love you"
a bit confusing.
that's why i want to become a subtitl.......ist. save the world from movie misunderstandings lol.
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Re: the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby richvh » Thu 12.11.2008 12:14 pm

How about saying you want to be his friend?
あなたと友達になりたい(です)。

Saves a heap of potential misunderstanding, because of the romantic overtones inherent in saying either あなたが好きです or あなたのことが好きです。
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Re: the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby Dehitay » Thu 12.11.2008 3:11 pm

richvh wrote:あなたと友達になりたい(です)。

I constantly keep getting the open parenthesis mixed up with く and then spend a full minute wondering what くです means in this situation.

I would also suggest avoid using 好き if you want to avoid confusion. I think good substitute might be, it's fun being with you. However, I don't know how to say that properly. Maybe
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Re: the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby becki_kanou » Thu 12.11.2008 11:11 pm

richvh wrote:あなたと友達になりたい(です)。

It sounds like from what she wrote that they already are friends, so maybe not this one.

Dehitay wrote:I would also suggest avoid using 好き if you want to avoid confusion. I think good substitute might be, it's fun being with you. However, I don't know how to say that properly. Maybe
あなたと一緒にいることは楽しい


This sounds good, I think he would get the picture pretty quickly. Although you should probably say 「Name-さんと一緒にいるといつも楽しい。」It's weird to call people あなた.
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Re: the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby chiisu321 » Fri 12.12.2008 3:05 am

becki_kanou wrote:
richvh wrote:あなたと友達になりたい(です)。

It sounds like from what she wrote that they already are friends, so maybe not this one.

Dehitay wrote:I would also suggest avoid using 好き if you want to avoid confusion. I think good substitute might be, it's fun being with you. However, I don't know how to say that properly. Maybe
あなたと一緒にいることは楽しい


This sounds good, I think he would get the picture pretty quickly. Although you should probably say 「Name-さんと一緒にいるといつも楽しい。」It's weird to call people あなた.



You're very quick =]
Yes, we are already friends. =] So, that phrase is a bit unnecessary at this point. >_<
(once again i don't want to turn on my kana typing program) I understand that Anata is strange to use. You should use the name followed by something. san, kun, chan. etc I call him Ta-kun, he calls me Alice. He will sometimes refer to me as anata, I do the same sometimes.


Dehitay wrote:I would also suggest avoid using 好き if you want to avoid confusion. I think good substitute might be, it's fun being with you. However, I don't know how to say that properly. Maybe
あなたと一緒にいることは楽しい


I like this phrase. I think it would be okay if I said "anata" only because we've used the label with each other before.
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Re: the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby two_heads_talking » Fri 12.12.2008 9:47 am

Well, Anata is a term that is used effectionatly by some(many?) women towards their significant other, so I wonder, will it be considered another step towards the "love" element?

I ask, since I am not female and my dating experience with Japanese female is non-existant.. Becki-san, how do you feel on this subject?
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Re: the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby becki_kanou » Fri 12.12.2008 9:57 am

two_heads_talking wrote:Well, Anata is a term that is used effectionatly by some(many?) women towards their significant other, so I wonder, will it be considered another step towards the "love" element?

I ask, since I am not female and my dating experience with Japanese female is non-existant.. Becki-san, how do you feel on this subject?


It's a bit old-fashioned. I think most young ladies these days call their boyfriends by their name +さん、くん、ちゃん whichever. I sometimes call my husband あなた, but more as a joke; I usually call him しょうちゃん. I personally never use it for anyone else. Used in normal conversation it sounds more gaijin-ish than anything else.
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Re: the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby two_heads_talking » Fri 12.12.2008 10:09 am

becki_kanou wrote:
two_heads_talking wrote:Well, Anata is a term that is used effectionatly by some(many?) women towards their significant other, so I wonder, will it be considered another step towards the "love" element?

I ask, since I am not female and my dating experience with Japanese female is non-existant.. Becki-san, how do you feel on this subject?


It's a bit old-fashioned. I think most young ladies these days call their boyfriends by their name +さん、くん、ちゃん whichever. I sometimes call my husband あなた, but more as a joke; I usually call him しょうちゃん. I personally never use it for anyone else. Used in normal conversation it sounds more gaijin-ish than anything else.


Thanks for the insight.
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Re: the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby chiisu321 » Tue 12.16.2008 10:23 pm

becki_kanou wrote:
two_heads_talking wrote:Well, Anata is a term that is used effectionatly by some(many?) women towards their significant other, so I wonder, will it be considered another step towards the "love" element?

I ask, since I am not female and my dating experience with Japanese female is non-existant.. Becki-san, how do you feel on this subject?


It's a bit old-fashioned. I think most young ladies these days call their boyfriends by their name +さん、くん、ちゃん whichever. I sometimes call my husband あなた, but more as a joke; I usually call him しょうちゃん. I personally never use it for anyone else. Used in normal conversation it sounds more gaijin-ish than anything else.



Though I knew before-hand the affectionate meaning affiliated with the word, i feel like no textbook or lesson I ever read ever teaches this. They all just say "it's better to call someone by their name blah blah"
I think if they actually said the reason WHY, it would be a less common gaijin mistake
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Re: the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby Yudan Taiteki » Tue 12.16.2008 11:11 pm

But there is no other explanation for why, other than that it's considered more polite to use name+san. Cultural language use like that often doesn't really have a deep explanation. (Although "anata" has an affectionate meaning in certain cases, that is not an explanation for why it is rude to use it in other circumstances.)
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Re: the difference between "i like you" and "i love you"

Postby mongol800 » Sat 12.27.2008 8:56 pm

I think it's japanese culture...

they never express their feelings as some americans do--... it's just part of their culture...

correct me if i'm wrong.
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