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Little help needed!

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Little help needed!

Postby Txkun » Tue 09.06.2005 3:21 am

Hi! I'm translating this folk tale. I would like some help in some places that I don't understand and maybe any comment about the translation of the rest!
Arigatou gozaimasu!

むかしむかし、
once upon a time,

ある ところ に、心 の やさしい おじいさん と おばさん が 住んで おりました そうな。
somewhere lived an old man and woman with a kind heart.

ある日のこと、
おじいさん が 山で しばかりをして の 帰り道、沼の あたり でつる の 鳴き さけぶ 声 が 聞こえました。
one day,
the old man while returning back to home after taking wood in the forest, near a swamp, heard the sound of the crying of a crane.

みると、一羽のつる が わなにかかって 苦しんで います。
He found that there was a crane captured in a trap that was suffering.

おじいさん が、すぐに つる を たすけだす と、
つる は よろこび を 羽いっぱいに あらわして、
雪の 空 へ と 飛び去ってきました
The old man saved promptly the crane that showed a lot of joy and flow away in the snowy sky.
(I don't understand: よろこび を 羽いっぱいに...)

その日の夜、いろり の そば で おじいさん は、
今日 の できごと を おばあさん に 話しておりました。
That night, near the fireplace the old man talked about the matter of the day to the old woman.

「それはそれは、うれしそう じゃった」
That (crane?)! It was so glad!

やさしい おばあさん も にっこり して、
なんだか 二人 は、 とても 幸せな 気分 に なりました。
The gentle old woman too was smiling, and the couple was somewhat felling very happy.

そのときです。
In that moment.

とんとん、とんとん。
Toc toc, toc toc. (sound of knocking at the door)

だれか が たずねて きたで は ありませんか。
Was there someone come to visit them?

だれ でしょう。
Who could be?

こんな よふけ に。
So late at night.

しかも、雪の夜に。
Besides in a snowy night...

とんとん、とんとん。
Toc toc, toc toc.

つづく :D
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RE: Little help needed!

Postby Txkun » Tue 09.06.2005 6:12 pm

おじいさん は ふしぎに 思い ながら、
そっと 戸を 開けて みます とーー、
なんと、雪の中に、かわいい 娘 が 立って いる で は ありません か。
the old man, while feeling curious, tried to open softly the door, and... wasn't there, in the middle of the snow, a beautiful young girl waiting?
ふしぎに 思い ながら (i'm not sure at all about this...)

旅 の とちゅう で、 道に まよった と いう の です。
she was traveling and she said she had lost her way.

やさしい おじいさん と おばあさん は、よろこんで 娘 を とめて あげよう と、
家 に 招き 人れました。
the gentle man and woman, that with pleasure wanted to (do the favour) to house the young woman, invited her inside their house ??
人れました (don't understand... is it a verb? hitoremashita?)

Thanks for any help! I hope someone can help... :(
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RE: Little help needed!

Postby Harisenbon » Tue 09.06.2005 7:56 pm

Your english needs a little polishing, but I think you got most of the meaning.

"He found that there was a crane captured in a trap that was suffering."


I doubt the trap is suffering. "He found a wounded (suffering) crane caught in a trap." might be the most natural.

"The old man saved promptly the crane that showed a lot of joy and flow away in the snowy sky.
(I don't understand: よろこび を 羽いっぱいに...)"


Because you have the 出すと there, I think that "as soon as he set the crane free, ..." would be better.

喜びを羽いっぱいに浮オた means "She expressed her happiness with the full breadth of her wings."

やさしい おばあさん も にっこり して、
なんだか 二人 は、 とても 幸せな 気分 に なりました。
The gentle old woman too was smiling, and the couple was somewhat felling very happy.


Somewhat very is kind of strange. I would cut the somewhat.

おじいさん は ふしぎに 思い ながら、
そっと 戸を 開けて みます とーー、
なんと、雪の中に、かわいい 娘 が 立って いる で は ありません か。
the old man, while feeling curious, tried to open softly the door, and... wasn't there, in the middle of the snow, a beautiful young girl waiting?
ふしぎに 思い ながら (i'm not sure at all about this...)


Curiously would be the best way for 不思議に思いながら, I think.

招き 人れました。


I think you put that in wrong. It's not 人, but rather 入. 招き入れる (まねきいれる) is to invite in.

Very good job! You got most of it, but I think your English needs a little polishing. It's translated too directly, and sounds very Japanese.

Can't wait to see the rest!
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