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translation with complex adjectival phrases

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translation with complex adjectival phrases

Postby shimewaza » Thu 09.24.2009 2:02 am

Hello,

I am trying to translate the following sentence (well, its not a complete sentence but thats ok because its a bullet in a PPT presentation)

"Nanomaterials platform based on chemically tunable and solution processable formulations that self-assemble to form synthetically engineered nano-composite structures"

I am struggling with how to handle the two adjectival phrases that modify "formulations", namely "chemically tunable and solution processable" and "that self-assemble to form synthetically engineered nano-composite structures". English has the convenience that they are on opposite sides of the noun they modify so everything is clear. However, I am struggling to come up with an equally clear translation in Japanese. Here is what I have so far:

合成ナノコンポジット構造に自動組織化する化学的調整可能且つ溶解処理可能の材料に基づいているナノ材料プラットフォーム。

But I think this has a big flaw because it seems that 自動組織化するmodifies科学調整, not 材料。I thought of the following alternative:
合成ナノコンポジット構造に自動組織化しており、化学的調整可能且つ溶解処理可能の材料に基づいているナノ材料プラットフォーム。
The しておりdoes a nice job separating the two modifying phrases but I'm not sure if this is grammatically correct.

This is not the first time I've struggled with this type of grammar so if someone could help, I'll really appreciate it. Also, if there are any better word choices for other parts of the translated phrase, please don't hesitate to say so.
よろしくお願いします!
shimewaza
 
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Re: translation with complex adjectival phrases

Postby NileCat » Thu 09.24.2009 3:35 am

Meaning-wise, I can't make heads or tails of it but, I'll write just what I thought. Please don't trust me!

合成ナノコンポジット構造に自動組織化しており、化学的調整可能且つ溶解処理可能の材料に基づいているナノ材料プラットフォーム。


1) It seems grammatically correct to me.
2) As a normal person, I wondered a bit if the "材料に基づいている" is the best word in your field.
3) Since the word "Nanomaterials platform" is at the top of the English sentence, I tried to come up with the sentence structure that I can make it at the top in the Japanese sentence as well. But it was difficult.
4) There might be some other choices for しており.
合成ナノコンポジット構造に自動組織化し、化学的調整可能~
合成ナノコンポジット構造に自己組織化し、尚且つ化学的調整可能/溶解処理可能である素材に~

Here's another version.
「合成ナノコンポジット構造に自己組織化し、更に化学的調整可能且つ溶解処理可能である材料をベースとしたナノマテリアル・プラットフォーム」
「化学的調整可能且つ溶解処理可能であり、合成ナノコンポジット構造に自動組織化している材料に基づいたナノ材料プラットフォーム」

Again, please note that I'm just writing this from the viewpoint of grammar and every word here is Greek to me.

Hope it helps. (I know it's doubtful :? )

EDIT: corrected my own typos
Last edited by NileCat on Tue 09.29.2009 4:03 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: translation with complex adjectival phrases

Postby shimewaza » Thu 09.24.2009 5:19 am

NileCat-san,

Thank you very much for your suggestions. I think they are better than my original one and I plan to modify mine based on them. Also, nice catch on a careless typo of mine. 自己組織化 is definitely the preferred term for "self-assembly", not 自動組織化 like I wrote :)
shimewaza
 
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Joined: Wed 11.19.2008 7:14 am
Native language: English


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