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Working on a manzai skit and clueless on a few lines.

Do you have a translation question?

Working on a manzai skit and clueless on a few lines.

Postby BlackRider » Tue 04.13.2010 7:51 pm

This is the section of the skit I'm having trouble with: (context is that we're reading ももたろう)
Spoiler:
B) How can a boy be born from a peach?
A) Shut up and keep reading!
B) Really, how is it possible?
A) I don't know... magic? Now can we please continue?
B) Magic? Did some witch get bored and suddenly proclaim: "I'm going to make a boy inside a peach!"?
A) Ummm... yes.... Now continue.
B) Was she just so bored of hexing the villagers that she thought, "meh, I'll float this peachboy down the river. That'll really freak the hell out of those two old people."
A) You've ruined the skit. I'm going home.

This is what I currently have:
Spoiler:
Bさん:待って、待って。男の子はももからどう生まれられた?
Aさん:しずかに!読め。
Bさん:あの…どうできた?
Aさん:分からない。まほうでしょう。続けて下さい。
Bさん:まほう?たいくつなまじょは「ももの中で男の子をつくりたい!」ときゅうに言った?
Aさん:うん。続けろ。
Bさん:(not even remotely sure on how to translate this line just yet)
Aさん:スキットはめつぼうした!僕が帰る。

It's that 2nd to last line that I'm really struggling with, but I'd love corrections or input on everything else I've written. :D I'm not going for anything like a literal translation, because it's a 2nd year Japanese class (we're in chapter 21 of Genki 2) so simpler sentences are better.

This one shouldn't be so hard to do, but I have no idea what the equivalent Japanese interjections(?) would be. :blush:
B) Pfft, like I always carry a brush and inks in my pocket! O wait, I do.


Thanks in advance for your help.
BlackRider
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Mon 03.21.2005 2:50 pm

Re: Working on a manzai skit and clueless on a few lines.

Postby writebook » Wed 04.14.2010 11:10 am

BlackRider wrote:B) Was she just so bored of hexing the villagers that she thought, "meh, I'll float this peachboy down the river. That'll really freak the hell out of those two old people."

魔女は、ふつうの魔法に飽きた(あきた、grow bored of)の?
魔女は、「このももの子供で、あの二人の老人をすごくびっくりさせたいな」と思ったの?

BlackRider wrote:B) Pfft, like I always carry a brush and inks in my pocket! O wait, I do.

"Pfft" can be said like ぷー(make a sound like you're letting out air much like pfft) or ぷぷっ
"O wait" is 「あ、まてよ。」

Good luck!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's a few other things I noticed.

BlackRider wrote:Aさん:しずかに!読め。

"うるさい!" or "うるさいな!" would be better because it feels more like "shut up."
You could say, 「うるさいな。はやく読め。」
(or 「うるさいな。はやく読め。」)

BlackRider wrote:A) You've ruined the skit. I'm going home.
A) スキットはめつぼうした!僕が帰る。

めつぼう is used when a country or city is devastated.
If your class can understand the word めちゃくちゃ (in a mess), you can say 「スキットがめちゃくちゃだ。」
「僕が帰る」 should be 「僕帰る。」
However, when someone is annoyed and want to go home, it's natural to just say 「もう帰る!」 without the subject。

BlackRider wrote:B) Magic? Did some witch get bored and suddenly proclaim: "I'm going to make a boy inside a peach!"?
Bさん:まほう?たいくつなまじょは「ももの中男の子をつくりたい!」ときゅうに言った

Questions like these need the の at the end. (This question is like providing a possible explanation, and then asking if that is the case or not. It needs the の that is used for explanations)

BlackRider wrote:Bさん:あの…どうできた

Questions that ask for an explanation about how something happened also need の at the end.

BlackRider wrote:A) Ummm... yes.... Now continue.

If you want to translate the Ummm... part, you can do it like this:
ええと…まあ…うん。
or
ええと… そう…かな。

"Now continue." can be translated as 「続きを読め。」 or 「続きを読んで。」 (続き: a noun meaning the continuing part, the part that follows) or 「続けて。」
You could say it like, 「はい、続きを読んで。」 or 「はい、続けて。」 or 「続きを読め。」
writebook
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Fri 12.25.2009 3:17 pm
Native language: 日本語

Re: Working on a manzai skit and clueless on a few lines.

Postby BlackRider » Wed 04.14.2010 3:19 pm

ありがとうございます! This is a big help and I can't thank you enough. At nearly 4 pages, this skit is twice as long as anything else I'd ever written in Japanese. As I memorize it I find so many mistakes in what I wrote, but I still have no idea what sounds natural. So your input is very valuable. Thanks. :D

P.S. We just learned めちゃくちゃな this chapter, so it's good to know that I can use it like that.
BlackRider
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Mon 03.21.2005 2:50 pm

Re: Working on a manzai skit and clueless on a few lines.

Postby writebook » Thu 04.15.2010 7:27 am

I posted some more corrections and suggestions on the other thread. I hope you still have time to check it out.
writebook
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Fri 12.25.2009 3:17 pm
Native language: 日本語


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