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Some bits from 「ヤンキー母校に帰る」...

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Some bits from 「ヤンキー母校に帰る」...

Postby phreadom » Wed 11.10.2010 5:58 am

I've been watching this drama and enjoying it, but as I got to episode 8, I hit a few spots that hadn't been translated, and because the show uses very informal Japanese, I'm really having trouble making any sense at all of it. :(

Chiyon-san helped me in the TJP chat and gave me some rough translations, but I'm wondering what the best natural English translation would be so that I can update the subtitle files and share them. :) I'd like them to be as accurate and natural as possible.

(徹) あかねが すんげえ
キレててさ とばっちり受ける前に
帰ってきちゃった

Akane goes ballistic in hell, so I came back before I get dragged into a mess. ?


哲希のチャランポラン
どーにかなんねえかな? ー

Tetsuki, how sloppy a character he is~, can anybody fix him ?


The context for those snippets is the following:

(吉森) なんだ お前ら
早くねえか?

(徹) 肝心の哲希が遅刻して 俺も
かっちゃんもカンカンなんだよ

(吉森) 哲希が遅刻?

(和人) なんか色々
言い訳してたよな

(徹) あかねが すんげえ
キレててさ とばっちり受ける前に
帰ってきちゃった


何やってんの お前?

うん?

ああ メシ食いにな

(吉森) メシまだだったのか?

(徹) オレ 食ったら
歌えねえんだよ

(吉森) 徹も なんだかんだ
言いながら 気合入ってんだな

(徹) だってさあ 卒業までさ
もうちょっとしかないじゃん

どうせだったらさ いい形で
卒業したいって思うべ?

(吉森) そうだな

(秀雄) そういや C組
「なごり雪」 歌うんだってな?

(徹) おめえ 誰に聞いたんだよ?

(秀雄) 哲希が今んトコ
第一候補だって騒いでたぞ

(徹) あんのヤロ 他のクラスの
奴に言うなとか言っといて
自分で言ってんじゃねえかよー

哲希のチャランポラン
どーにかなんねえかな? ー


おい

(吉森) あっ ?

(徹) 「あっ ? 」 じゃねえよ
こっちが あっ ? だよお前ー

あっ ! お前 俺らに何か
隠してることあんだべ?

(吉森) どーして そーゆー風に
思うんだ?

(徹) ほら 元気がない !
それ いつものお前じゃないもん

(吉森) そうか?

(徹) そうかじゃねえよ... もう
こう言ったら ああ言うってのが
いつもの吉森だろ

(吉森) ごちそーさん

どーした 吉森?
何かあったのか?ー

よっぽどヤバイ
ことなのかよ? ー


The next part I wanted to work on are the lyrics to the song 「なごり雪」(Unseasonable Snow) that is partially sang in episode 9...

♪汽車を持つ君の
横で僕は時計を気にしてる
By your side, I look at my watch
as you wait for the train

♪季節はずれの雪が降ってる
Unseasonable snow is falling

♪東京で見る
雪はこれが最後ねと
"This is the last snow I’ll see in Tokyo",

♪寂しそうに君がつぶやく
you murmur forlornly

♪ なごり雪も 降るときを和り
I know it’s time for the traces of snow to fall

♪ふざけ過ぎた季節のあと で
after the season we spent playing too much

♪ 今 春がきて
君はきれいになった
Now spring is coming and you’ve become pretty

♪去年よりずっと
きれいになった
You’ve become much prettier than last year


I can follow the lyrics of that well enough to place the English lines with the correct Japanese lines... I'm just wondering if that's the best translation?

And finally from episode 10 a few more lines from 「なごり雪」, and then the closing song...

♪君の唇がさようならと
動くことが
I was afraid of your lips moving to say goodbye

♪怖くて下を向いてた
so I looked down

♪今 春が来て
君はきれいになった
Now spring is coming and you’ve become pretty

♪去年よりずっと
きれいになった
You’ve become much prettier than last year



The closing theme is 「青空の果て」(あおぞらのはて - Under a Blue Sky) by 奥田美和子 (おくだ みわこ - OKUDA Miwako)... I've matched up the English lyrics as best I could to the Japanese, but I'm a little iffy about the uniform parts toward the end. :think:


♪南校舎の星上から 青空しか見えなかった
From the roof of the south school building, all I could see was the blue sky

♪青空しか見えなかった
all I could see was the blue sky

♪この青空の果てに あるのは
At the end of that blue sky

♪絶望だけ
there was only despair

♪本当は屋上から 飛び降りたかった
Honestly, I wanted to leap off the roof

♪わたしの居場所
Because I

♪どこにもなかったから
was nowhere

♪あなたに
Until I

♪あなたに出逢うまでは
until I met you

♪青空の果てまで 手を離さないで
To the end of the blue sky, don't let go of my hand

♪一緒に屋上に 登ってくれますか?
Will you come up to the roof with me?

♪あの空の下に 置き去りにしてる
I, was deserted under that sky

♪制服のわたし
in my uniform

♪青空の果てまで 手を離さないで
To the end of the blue sky, don't let go of my hand

♪制服のわたし
in my uniform


Sorry for the really long post! :sweatdrop: I just want to try to get these ironed out so that I can finish watching the show and hopefully share the finished translations with other fans. :)

よろしくおねがいします! :bow:
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Re: Some bits from 「ヤンキー母校に帰る」...

Postby NileCat » Wed 11.10.2010 9:35 am

すばらしい! Phreadomさん、意味は完璧だと思います! :applause:
英語のニュアンスは私にはわからないのですが :blush: 、拝見して感じたことを書きます。既にご承知のことばかりかもしれません。あくまでもご参考までに。 :pray:

「時計を気にしてる」
これは、ほぼ「時間を気にしている」と同じニュアンスです。(私自身はずっと、駅の大きな時計を彼がちらっと見る情景をイメージしていました :D

「なごり雪も降るときをり」(typo)
すばらしい訳だと思います。

「ふざけ過ぎた季節のあとで」
季節=(共に過ごした)日々/時間、です。数年間かもしれませんね。

「今 春が来て 君はきれいになった」
今は、もう既に春です。(早春)
日本では、学校は春に始まり春に終わります。
春という季節は、「始まり」と同時に「別れ」を象徴します。
(春になり、彼女は変わり、二人の関係も変わった。しかし、「なごり雪」が降る・・・「名残り雪」は、彼の…lingering? な気持ちの象徴といった感じですね。彼女への気持ちが「残って」いるんです :love:

「怖くて下を向いてた」
下ばかり見ていた・・・ずっと、うつむいていた・・・といった感じに受け取れます。


「私の居場所 どこにもなかったから」
自分のいられる場所(自分のための場所)(自分が行ける場所)がなかった

「あの空の下に 置き去りにしてる 制服の私」
これは「詩的な表現」で、誰にもはっきりと意味はわかりません。が、Phreadomさんの訳は、とても「いい感じ」だと思います。
もし、他の解釈があるとすれば、(16才の自分を客観視しながら)「私が、16才の私を、置き去りにしたままである」かな? あれ? 英語でも同じことかな? :shock:

完成したら、教えてくださいね! :dance:
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Re: Some bits from 「ヤンキー母校に帰る」...

Postby NileCat » Wed 11.10.2010 11:02 am

Regarding the uniform part, I suppose you haven’t been convinced yet. :blush:
I’ll give it a try. But please note that the following is only my two cents.

This song is written using past-tense. She is singing about herself in the past. She is recalling her youth; when she was 16 years old.

When she was 16, she used to come HERE (, the roof of the school), which means we can assume “she is now standing on the roof recalling her memory of years ago”.
In her memory, she used to come here, (smoked at times), and wanted to leap off because she was lonely. She was thinking there was no place to go.

Then she met him. When? That’s a mystery. I personally assume it “recently”. She is saying that her youth (maybe teens) were lonely and full of desperation. But NOW, it’s changed because she has met him.

So, “to the end of the sky” part is supposed to be her hope at present. And I think she can vividly watch a 16-year-old girl in high school uniform standing right there…a girl whom she deserted at her past. In a way, now she believes he (and she herself) can save the lonely girl. How? By his coming here with HER holding her hand. Which girl she is referring to? The 16-year-old or she at present? Well, it is not stated. But in this part of the song, I think she sees both of them as one.

Does my explanation make sense at least? Well, I hope so. :roll:


EDIT:
JFYI, she (the singer) is mentioning about the lyrics in her interview.
http://www.yu-miri.net/okuda_interview/page3.html
She says "you" in the lyrics can be a metaphor. For herself, it was "music", she says.
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Re: Some bits from 「ヤンキー母校に帰る」...

Postby phreadom » Wed 11.10.2010 11:44 am

I should clarify that I didn't do the translations of those songs... I found English lyrics on-line and simply matched the English lines to the correct Japanese lines. :) I don't think my Japanese is nearly good enough yet to do such a good translation job. :blush:

I'll have to read your fist comment after I've slept... I've been up since yesterday and am too tired to try reading that much Japanese at the moment. ;)

Thank you for your responses though! :bow:
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Re: Some bits from 「ヤンキー母校に帰る」...

Postby NileCat » Wed 11.10.2010 12:38 pm

Sure, phreadom!
While you are sleeping, I’ll try to make up an English version for my own sake. :D

In my previous post I said;

Wonderful! Phreadom-san, meaning-wise, your translation seems perfect!
Since I’m not the right person to judge the English nuances, I’ll let you know what I thought. You might have already been aware of them, though. Just for your reference.

「時計を気にしてる」
This phrase conveys almost the same meaning as…”being distracted by time”. (In my imagination, I have thought that he glances at a clock on the platform.)

「なごり雪も降るときをり」(typo)
The translation sounds great.

「ふざけ過ぎた季節のあとで」
Season(s) = days/time (we spent together). It might have been years.

「今 春が来て 君はきれいになった」
In the lyrics, it is already spring. (early spring)
In Japan, schools start in spring and end in spring.
Spring can represent “beginning” and “farewell” at the same time.
( Spring has come. She has changed. The relationship between them has ended. But he sees the unseasonable snow, “nagori-yuki”. The snow is supposed to have a symbolic meaning; his lingering affection. Nagori means “remains”.)

「怖くて下を向いてた」
It means that he kept lowering his eyes.

「私の居場所 どこにもなかったから」
There was no place where she can stay / no place for her / no place to go.

「あの空の下に 置き去りにしてる 制服の私」
This is a “poetic” phrase. Nobody can tell what it exactly means. But I think phreadom-san’s translation is very well-done.
Suffice to say that, another possible interpretation would be; (from an objective viewpoint) “I have kept deserting myself who is 16-year-old” Well..the English translation can convey the same meaning, doesn’t it?

Please let me know when it is completed!

Well, that’s it.
The reason I wrote it in Japanese was that I kind of thought it should be accurate because your translation was very good.
:D
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Re: Some bits from 「ヤンキー母校に帰る」...

Postby phreadom » Thu 11.11.2010 3:11 am

Thank you again NileCat-san! :)

I did a few more last minute changes to the lyrics of 青空の果て

♪南校舎の星上から 青空しか見えなかった
~From the roof of the south school building, all I could see was the blue sky~

♪青空しか見えなかった
~all I could see was the blue sky~

♪この青空の果てに あるのは
~At the end of that blue sky~

♪絶望だけ
~there was only despair~

♪本当は屋上から 飛び降りたかった
~Honestly, I wanted to leap off the roof~

♪わたしの居場所
~Because there was~

♪どこにもなかったから
~no place for me~

♪あなたに
~Until I...~

♪あなたに出逢うまでは
~until I met you~

♪青空の果てまで 手を離さないで
~To the end of the blue sky, don't let go of my hand~

♪一緒に屋上に 登ってくれますか?
~Will you come up to the roof with me?~

♪あの空の下に 置き去りにしてる
~What I'm leaving behind under that sky is...~

♪制服のわたし
~Me in my uniform~

♪青空の果てまで 手を離さないで
~To the end of the blue sky, don't let go of my hand~

♪制服のわたし
~Me in my uniform~


I think it kind of makes it more clear that she's leaving behind a version of herself... "under that sky, I'm leaving behind the version of me that wears that uniform". :think:

Of course this is just my wild guess, an based on my very limited ability. :P But I hope it's a good enough translation to somewhat artistically convey the meaning of the song (whatever that meaning might actually be).

I also settled on the first two spots from episode #8 being (with the help of Chiyon-san, spin13-san, and SS-san, etc - ありがとう皆さん! :bow: ):

(徹) あかねが すんげえ
キレててさ とばっちり受ける前に
帰ってきちゃった
Akane was really mad.
I came home before we got in a fight.

and
哲希のチャランポラン
どーにかなんねえかな? ー
Is there nothing we can do about his carefree attitude?


Other than that, everything else stayed as written before. I can't do any more than that. :sweatdrop: That was already far beyond my skill level. :P I hope I didn't mess up too badly. :mrgreen:
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