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Translating a monologue

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Translating a monologue

Postby Pirate Jenny » Fri 12.16.2005 8:34 am

Hi all!
I’m an cartoonist-of-sorts [small](ie. "School's out and I'm really bored!" )[/small], deep in the steady process of trying to write the Great American Graphic Novel. For the sake of mind-effery, I want to have one of the characters soliloquise part of the narration in pure Japanese, but alas, I don’t speak it fluently, and just writing random kana and kanji for the sake of style so goes against all my moral fibres. ;) I’m trying to translate this mess of complex sentences;
It’s kinda funny and kinda sad to see you again. It makes me feel awkward, like when you have a wet dream about someone and then see that person the next day. I hadn’t expected you to come back to our hometown, there isn’t a reason for it.
The thought of your escape made me take a long hard look at this place; the roads, buildings and overhead phonelines, and all the people I’ve known for my whole life. I don’t think it would be hard to leave all these physical things behind. I hear the buses and trains pass every few hours. I have no money, I have no car, and I’m a long way from the station. Today is warm. I think it’s going to be a long summer.

Into Japanese. As follows is the...liberally interpreted fruit of my efforts thus far;
少しおかしく、会うことは少し悲しい。気が引けさせられる; 人 お 性的に関して 夢見てから し, 其奴 を その日 行き会う お のようである。 あんた の  帰り  は 期待されなかった、 動機 が じゃなかった。あんた の  帰り を まじまじと見させらる; 高架線 と  古家 と 原 と すべての人々 を  すべての生命知られていた。 世上万般 を 逃げ失せにくいない を 思っています。バス と 列車 を 過ぎ行く の毎時 聴く, この 場所 に 駅 がない だって。車 を 持ってい ない、お金じゃない、駅 から 遠い。今日 暑い です。長い夏 を でしょう の  思っています。

I’m sure this is a very, very rough if not downright laughable attempt -after all, the last formal Japanese lesson I took was in 8th grade and when I was in Japan I could barely order sashimi.- but I’ve done the best I can with an old high-school textbook, a dictionary and way too much intuition. Anyhoo, if you could help me clean this up into meaningful sentences, and help me make sure it sounds like something a dumb, wistful emo-chick of about 17 might say, I would be super-duper-grateful. ありがとうございます!
Pirate Jenny
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu 12.15.2005 3:51 am

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