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Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

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Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

Postby ashitaka » Wed 04.18.2007 12:22 am

Just thought this was a good short read for a little laugh. :D

The following bonus question was asked on a University of Washington
Chemistry Mid-Term.


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.



As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions
that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if
you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is
more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially.



Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.



This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.


So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last
night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell
has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and
is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept
shouting;

"Oh my God."



THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
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RE: Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

Postby prep_girl_Nessa » Wed 04.18.2007 12:31 am

AHH! I just had my Chem final today! No more chemistry!!!! TAKE IT AWA~~~~Y~~~!!!

Haha, kidding. That's funny ^_^
- Harumi Nessa - 熱砂 春美(Just kidding ^_^'')
'Do you know what it feels like, loving someone who's in a rush to throw you away?
Do you know what it feels like, to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?
' - Enrique Iglesias <3
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RE: Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

Postby Mike Cash » Wed 04.18.2007 4:11 am

Reminds me of a story of a student who was supposed to work a problem calculating the height of a building using an aneroid barometer.

The student said that he would measure the height of the barometer, place it on the ground, and measure the length of its shadow. Then he would measure the length of the building's shadow and work it out mathematically.

The problem was marked incorrect and the student protested. He said he understood that the professor wanted the problem worked out using differentials in air pressure, but he preferred thinking outside the box, and anyway, the professor had failed to clearly state the question.

He went on to provide three other methods for calculating the height of the building using a barometer:

1. Tie the barometer to a long rope, lower it from the roof, and measure the rope.

2. Drop the barometer off the roof and calculate the height based on how long it takes the barometer to reach the ground.

3. Take the barometer to the building's basement, locate the building superintendant and say, "Sir, I have here a fine barometer which I will give to you if you tell me the height of this building."

He got credit for his answer.
Never underestimate my capacity for pettiness.
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RE: Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

Postby two_heads_talking » Wed 04.18.2007 10:02 am

yes, what typically happens in these situations is the professor either gets "his own theories" back, to which he gives high marks or he gets an answer that totally shuts down his original question, to which he can do one of 2 things.. fail the student or admit to himself, the student actually did pay attention and showed him a thing or two..

I hated professors that marked papers based on whether you regurgitated back their drivel rather than use your own mind..

the thing I found was that most professors thought they knew it all, until someone, younger, more aggressive and bit less humorless than they proved them wrong..
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RE: Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

Postby jinksys » Thu 07.12.2007 10:03 pm

We might as well worry about the growing threat of Global Warming in Never Ever Land.
Hello? Internets?
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RE: Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

Postby Hatori » Fri 07.13.2007 8:27 pm

How can you put religion and science together? :o ;)
我是老师。我是老师。我是老师。我是老师。我是老师。我是老师。我是老师。
lol
~ハトリ~
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RE: Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

Postby SenescenceReign » Fri 07.13.2007 9:15 pm

I had heard the hell one, but not the barometer one. I'm going to remember that.

For a long, laughable time.

It occurs to me now that I need more friends in real life who would understand and appreciate these jokes. You know what they say about, "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone."
/relurk
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RE: Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

Postby two_heads_talking » Tue 07.17.2007 10:16 am

jinksys wrote:
We might as well worry about the growing threat of Global Warming in Never Ever Land.


nice thread necromancy.. it was fine left dead...
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