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Proof read my translation

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Proof read my translation

Postby amaravati » Mon 09.26.2005 9:29 pm

Hi, To practice my Japanese, I have translated serveral Japanese sentences. However I am very new to Japanese and I would like anybody who is very fluent in Japanese to correct any mistakes I have made.

The most confusing thing about these sentences so far are the ones that contain verbs with ~te form. I will put words and sentences that I having trouble with in bold letters, so someone can clarify them to me.

このゲームの主人公くるりは、ごくふつうの女の子。
Kururi is the main character of the game. She is an ordinary girl

ところが、くるりのお父さんラッセンは 盗賊団レッドリルを率いるリーダーだったのです。
However, Kururi's father, Rassen was a leader, leading a thief group called, Red Drill

ある日、ライバルの盗賊団ドクローラーがおそってきて、 レッドダイヤを奪っていってしまいました
One day, thief group's(Red Drill) rival, Toxic Roller came, attacked, stole the Red Diamond and left.

くるりにとってレッドダイヤは、 天国のママがいつも身につけていた大切なもの
The Red Diamond that Kururi to take back is mother's heaven important thing that she always wear with her.

This last sentence is where I couldn't pieced it together.

そして、レッドリルにとっても、幸運をよぶ大事なおたからです。
And, Red Drill too take the valuable treasure [なお?] brings good fortune

Is 身につけていた a phrase? Because I couldn't find the exact translation in the dictionary

なお=? たから=treasure?
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RE: Proof read my translation

Postby Harisenbon » Mon 09.26.2005 10:15 pm

Looks pretty good to me, except for the last 2 sentences.

くるりにとってレッドダイヤは、 天国のママがいつも身につけていた大切なもの。
The Red Diamond, which her deceased mother always carried on her, is Kururi's most precious thing.

Here's how it breaks down.

くるりにとって -- For Kururi
レッドダイヤは、-- The red diamond
天国のママが -- dead mother
いつも -- always
身につけていた -- had on her (lit, on her body)
大切なもの。 -- precious thing

Here's the last sentence.

そして、レッドリルにとっても、幸運をよぶ大事なおたからです。
Also, it is an important treasure that will bring fortune to Red Drill as well.

And the break down of this:
そして、-- also
レッドリルにとっても、-- even for Red Drill (not to take. This is the same にとって as above with kururi)
幸運をよぶ -- call fortune
大事な -- this is one adjective phrase which means important. The な is because it's an adjective
おたから -- treasure. the お is honorific, making the treasure seem more important.
です。 -- is

Pretty good translation, but your word break down was kind of off in the last sentence. Remember that modifiers will usually have a particle attached to them の、い、な to signify their attachement.
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RE: Proof read my translation

Postby amaravati » Mon 09.26.2005 10:35 pm

Thank you so much Harisenbon. I was actually expecting your reply. I looked up 天国のママが in the dictionary, but I guess the の threw me off and led me to think that 天国 belongs to the mother instead of "dead mother". Also how were you able to tell that 大切なもの。 is Kururi's precious thing?

How long have you been studying Japanese by the way? I'm a native Thai speaker and Japanese is the third language I'm trying to learn, but I guess I'm a little too old to be learning a third language. I'm sort of taken by back that verb conjugation actually exist in an asian language (Thai language doesn't have verb conjugation).

Do you have any recommendation on books or websites that will teach me more colloquial Japanese?
Last edited by amaravati on Mon 09.26.2005 10:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Proof read my translation

Postby Harisenbon » Tue 09.27.2005 12:15 am

大切 is a な adjective that means precious. So when you use it with a noun, you have to use な to connect the two. 物 もの is thing. I know that it's Kururi's because it says くるり にとって where にとって means "for (someone/something).

I've been studying Japanese for around 7 years, and speaking it for almost 12 years (no Japanese class at college). Japanese, although an Asian language, is completely different from the other Asiatic langauges, and is supposedly more closely tied to languages like Hungarian and Romanian, or so I have heard. I've learned a number of languages (can't speak any of them anymore), and Japanese is definately one of the more unique ones. =)

As for books for colloquial Japanese, I've never found a good one. Japanese textbooks teach very formal, stiff Japanese, and the only way I've found to actually get good at colloquial Japanese is to live in Japan. Sorry I can't be more help.
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RE: Proof read my translation

Postby zengargoyle » Tue 09.27.2005 1:15 am

japanese is less like other asian languages than english is like russian. and somewhere else i read that linguists note ainu, japanese, and basque as being the the most unique and distinct and isolated. if you could place them on a multi-dimensional map of all languages, those three would be farthest from their neighbors.

a facinating read on the possible origins of the japanese people/language.

The Japanese Roots
...

The distinctive appearance and hunter-gatherer lifestyle of the Ainu, and the undistinctive appearance and the intensive agricultural lifestyle of the Japanese, are frequently taken to suggest the straightforward interpretation that the Ainu are descended from Japan's original hunter-gatherer inhabitants and the Japanese are more recent invaders from the Asian mainland.

But this view is difficult to reconcile with the distinctiveness of the Japanese language. Everyone agrees that Japanese does not bear a close relation to any other language in the world. Most scholars consider it to be an isolated member of Asia's Altaic language family, which consists of Turkic, Mongolian, and Tungusic languages. Korean is also often considered to be an isolated member of this family, and within the family Japanese and Korean may be more closely related to each other than to other Altaic languages. However, the similarities between Japanese and Korean are confined to general grammatical features and about 15 percent of their basic vocabularies, rather than the detailed shared features of grammar and vocabulary that link, say, French to Spanish; they are more different from each other than Russian is from English.

...
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