Learn Japanese with JapanesePod101.com

View topic - Not living in Japan, but America

Not living in Japan, but America

Post questions and answers about living or visiting Japan or the culture

Not living in Japan, but America

Postby Seant018 » Fri 01.04.2008 4:20 pm

Ok here is the situation.

I have been dating a Japanese girl for over a year now but in December she graduated from the university we both go to, so she has to go back to Japan.

We have talked over a lot of options, and we thought the best option would be for her to work in America for a few years, especially since I graduate in a year so it wouldn't force us to have such a long distance relationship.

Here is the problem I have just learned about. She had an F-1 visa to study here as a student, but this will expire after the 60 day grace period because she graduated. At first, I thought she could apply for OPT and stay here for an extra year and find a job, but now I have learned you have to apply for OPT BEFORE graduating, which she didn't do :(

Another option is to apply for the H-1B visa, which is a work visa for non-immigrants but the lady I spoke with earlier about that said something about applying in April and then being able to work in October.

She could also reapply for a second Bachelor's degree and then be able to continue her F-1 visa. Another benefit of this is she would be able to apply for a CPT program with the department. This could be a good thing or a bad thing. It will cost her more money, but it will allow her to come back here and possibly find a job. She also does not have to finish the second degree. She can quit it after she finds a job and is able to get an H-1B work visa.

So that leaves one other option as far as I can think of. Getting married. We have talked about getting married and I believe it is what we both want in the future. I just don't know if she is willing to get married so soon.

My question is, if we do get married, does she lose or Japanese citizenship if she wants to stay in America for a few years while she works?

If we aren't able to resolve this, I don't know if our relationship will work. I know you would think that if we really love each other, we can survive this time apart, but it isn't that easy :( With a 15 hour time difference, it makes communication very hard. This is putting a very large amount of stress on me and is making me very depressed :(

Any websites I can read for information about this subject would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
Seant018
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri 01.04.2008 4:06 pm

RE: Not living in Japan, but America

Postby LeMichaels » Fri 01.04.2008 4:46 pm

I have a small background with a similar situation. My sister received her Masters in England and ended up getting married after she graduated. The problem with the U.S. is that even after you're married, the foreigner can NOT work until after 90 days (if I remember correctly). This is why, in my sister's case, she moved to England where she could start immediately (or after a much shorter time). I know she had a very hard time locating this information. I would suggest searching for marriage licenses in the U.S. on google and maybe contact your local court.

As far as Visas go, I can't be of any help. Sorry.
LeMichaels
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu 01.03.2008 2:31 pm

RE: Not living in Japan, but America

Postby Chris Hart » Fri 01.04.2008 4:53 pm

AFIK, a non-citizen marrying a citizen does not automatically change the citizenship of an individual, although it does allow for residency. So, AFIK, if you and her get married, you gain residency permission in Japan, and she gains residency permission in the US.

DISCLAIMER - IANAL, and all this is dependent on my understanding what is happening.
-.. .   -.- -.-. ---.. ..- ..-. ...-

I am nerdier than 97% of all people. Are you a nerd? Click here to find out!
User avatar
Chris Hart
 
Posts: 577
Joined: Wed 07.05.2006 3:36 pm
Location: 未確認飛行物体

RE: Not living in Japan, but America

Postby Seant018 » Fri 01.04.2008 5:07 pm

Let me see if I understand this.

Her visa's grace period expires in roughly 40 days. If she were to come back and we got married, would she be able to begin living with me as soon as we were married?

And you said if we got married, she couldn't work till 60 days after getting married?
Seant018
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri 01.04.2008 4:06 pm

RE: Not living in Japan, but America

Postby LeMichaels » Fri 01.04.2008 5:52 pm

I found some better answers for you. Check out this site: http://faq.visapro.com/Marriage-US-Citizen-FAQ.asp

And the processing time for a work permit after marriage is typically 30-90 days. Considering how slow the U.S. Gov is...I'd bet on 90 days.

Hope this helps! :D
LeMichaels
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu 01.03.2008 2:31 pm

RE: Not living in Japan, but America

Postby Seant018 » Fri 01.04.2008 6:27 pm

How can I stay in the U.S. and await my Green Card after marrying my permanent resident fiance?

You may stay in the U.S. while awaiting your Green Card after marrying your permanent resident fiance only if you have a nonimmigrant visa that is valid throughout the waiting period.



Does this mean unless she has a visa allowing her to stay, she has to leave untill her Green Card is finalized??? Because it said it can take 12-18 months :S

Man this is horrible, I don't even know what to do :( I know we both want to get married eventually but I don't know if we should so soon. I just don't think I can surive such a long amount of time apart, and she already voiced her fears of having to limit our communication because of the time difference.

I know some people would say our relationship isn't meant to be if we can't handle this time apart, but a year apart with very limited time to talk is hard for anybody.
Last edited by Seant018 on Fri 01.04.2008 6:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Seant018
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri 01.04.2008 4:06 pm

RE: Not living in Japan, but America

Postby Dehitay » Fri 01.04.2008 7:13 pm

Permanent resident isn't necessarily the same thing as citizen. Make sure that clause actually applies to you. I have always heard that as long as you're married to a US citizen, you have the right to stay in the country. Also, I don't think your parter would even get citizenship just because she married you so she wouldn't have an immediate problem with her Japanese citizenship.

On a side note, if you can afford it, I think going for a second degree till you're sure about getting married would be the better option.
www.bananamonkeyninja.com
The only webcomic endorsed by Banana Monkey Ninja
User avatar
Dehitay
 
Posts: 1010
Joined: Fri 09.08.2006 8:36 pm
Location: San Antonio, Texas, USA
Native language: English
Gender: Male

RE: Not living in Japan, but America

Postby LeMichaels » Fri 01.04.2008 7:18 pm

She can stay illegally. My dad married a foreigner and she stayed here illegally until the green card came through. Technically I think she can claim to be here for an extended vacation and that will work. Otherwise, yes, she is supposed to have a visa while she is waiting for the green card. This is why it's so hard to immigrate to the U.S. Good luck with everything!
LeMichaels
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu 01.03.2008 2:31 pm

RE: Not living in Japan, but America

Postby Wakannai » Fri 01.04.2008 9:12 pm

I really don't recommend getting married to fill a legal loophole. Don't get married to give her residency. Get married because you want to be married, now, not because you think you might want to marry eventually.
Wakannai
 
Posts: 658
Joined: Thu 10.18.2007 6:38 am

RE: Not living in Japan, but America

Postby askeladd » Fri 01.04.2008 10:51 pm

Why not work on a master's? I agree with the others: getting married just to skirt immigration laws is not only foolish, it's illegal. Even if you were to get married so she could get residency (green card), it would only be a provisional green card since you would be married less than 2 years. After two years she could petition to have it changed to a "permanent" green card - of course, one of the things the immigration officer would check for in your/her interview would be to see if you really are living together and not getting married merely for the sake of getting a green card.

This does not constitute legal advice, but I do have some familiarity with this type of situation - dh is (now) a resident alien :D.
Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

---Mark Twain
User avatar
askeladd
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri 08.03.2007 12:30 am
Native language: 英語

RE: Not living in Japan, but America

Postby Mike Cash » Sat 01.05.2008 12:55 am

Seant018 wrote:

If we aren't able to resolve this, I don't know if our relationship will work. I know you would think that if we really love each other, we can survive this time apart, but it isn't that easy :( With a 15 hour time difference, it makes communication very hard.


Do you know how incredibly immature that sounds? And how very strongly it states the case that the best thing you two can do is go your separate ways?
Never underestimate my capacity for pettiness.
User avatar
Mike Cash
 
Posts: 2737
Joined: Sun 08.20.2006 3:38 am
Native language: English

RE: Not living in Japan, but America

Postby Seant018 » Sat 01.05.2008 11:36 am

Mike Cash wrote:
Seant018 wrote:

If we aren't able to resolve this, I don't know if our relationship will work. I know you would think that if we really love each other, we can survive this time apart, but it isn't that easy :( With a 15 hour time difference, it makes communication very hard.


Do you know how incredibly immature that sounds? And how very strongly it states the case that the best thing you two can do is go your separate ways?


There is no doubt in either of our minds that we love each other. Relationships don't just end because people stop loving each other. If in your infinite arrogance you stop to realize that, you would understand what I am saying.

Let me show you a "what if".

What if she gets a job that requires her to catch a subway to work, and she has to stop and switch cars a few times? Well, that probably means she has to get up early, for the sake of this example, lets say 6am. Well 6am there = 9pm where I am. So, that means we won't get a chance to talk when she wakes up in the morning. So, the next time we can talk is 7 or 8am my time, which is 10-11pm her time. Yeah, we can do this but if she is getting up at 6am every day, she might just be tired at 10pm.

That is the stress I am talking about. Of course, she could get a job that she can get to in 30 minutes, giving her a chance to email me in the morning, and giving us more of a chance to talk when I wake up.

Remember now, I won't graduate for 1 more year, so, excluding the times I am able to visit her, we will have to keep up this level of communication for 1 year.

Actually it will be less because she probably won't start working for 2 more months (I don't fully understand job hunting in Japan)

But we did talk about this problem this morning. I made a few calls yesterday and found that she can't extend her F-1 visa, so the only other way is to get sponsored for her work visa.

As I said, we both want to get married but I know it is not a good thing to get married just so she can come work here for a few years.

All in all, we decided that she should try to find the employers in Japan who are looking for people to work in America and are willing to sponser her visa. This is also a long shot and we are both prepared for her to accept that the only thing she can do is work in Japan and wait for me to finish.

And to whoever mentioned skirtting the legalities, that was not our intention :) We are both wanting to get married and eventually live in Japan, she just wanted to continue her English learning, and I thought it would be a good chance for her to save money for when we do move to Japan.

The conclusion of this whole post is this. We both love each other and we both know the risks to our relationship by having to stay apart for a year. We just thought working on America would be a good chance for her to continue learning English while taking some of the stress off of our relationship.
Seant018
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri 01.04.2008 4:06 pm

RE: Not living in Japan, but America

Postby keatonatron » Sat 01.05.2008 11:47 am

Seant018 wrote:
That is the stress I am talking about. Of course, she could get a job that she can get to in 30 minutes, giving her a chance to email me in the morning, and giving us more of a chance to talk when I wake up.


The great thing about e-mail is that the other person can be sleeping, working, or doing whatever when you send it. It works for YOUR schedule. So, she goes to work and finds time to write you at lunch. You read it when you get home from school, write a nice reply and go to sleep. She gets home to find your reply--what a nice way to end the day. She replies and goes to sleep. You wake up to find her reply--what a nice way to start the day! You write back, and when she wakes up, your reply is there waiting for her...

Believe me, if you really love each other it's not at all impossible. I knew a girl who communicated with her future husband only through e-mail and the occasional phone calls for 2 or 3 years before getting married!

And best of all, if you are away for one whole year and STILL want to get married after all that, you can be sure your feelings are the real deal. If, God forbid, after 3 months you start to forget her or become interested in someone else, it's probably for the best that you didn't get married.
User avatar
keatonatron
 
Posts: 4838
Joined: Sat 02.04.2006 3:31 am
Location: Tokyo (Via Seattle)
Native language: English
Gender: Male

RE: Not living in Japan, but America

Postby Mike Cash » Sat 01.05.2008 12:17 pm

My arrogance consists of pointing out your failing to see the immaturity of logic which boils down to, "Gosh, we'd better get married now because if we're apart for a whole year it's so hard to remain in love and we might not get married at all then." Unlike you, I have no emotional investment in your relationship and therefore have the benefit of something proximity denies to you.....objectivity.

If the end result of a year's separation is that you would drift apart to the point that the relationship would either end or cool to the point that marriage is no longer likely, then what does that say about the strength of the connection being strong enough upon which to base a marriage NOW?

See?

And for what it's worth, I've been involved in a marriage resulting from eerily similar circumstances to your own. Coming up on our 22nd anniversary about a week from now. And in all frankness and candor if I had had the good sense God gave a grapefruit back then and had the benefit of the wisdom that all too often only comes with hindsight, I never would have done it.

You don't know.....can't possibly know.....1/10 of what you're letting yourself in for. And you're doing it on a shaky foundation to boot.
Last edited by Mike Cash on Sat 01.05.2008 12:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Never underestimate my capacity for pettiness.
User avatar
Mike Cash
 
Posts: 2737
Joined: Sun 08.20.2006 3:38 am
Native language: English

RE: Not living in Japan, but America

Postby Kagemaru » Sat 01.05.2008 2:55 pm

Surely when you first got together you saw this time arriving.

In saying this, it doesn't help your cause in the least however, being so quick to shoot down others very valid arguments from (as Mike stated) an objective viewpoint, only seems to me you are love blind as the term is coined I believe.

Therefore, being as in love as you say you are, I never read you in your posts the possibility of dropping what you are doing, going to Japan on a working holiday visa, marrying her in Japan after a year (be it that want you want), returning together to complete your education whilst simultaneously allowing your girlfriend to achieve the level of English she desires, finally returning to Japan to settle.

Being so in love by your account, what is 2-3 years in the grand scheme of things?

It seems to me you want to keep your dog fed and your pie intact.
User avatar
Kagemaru
 
Posts: 522
Joined: Sun 09.17.2006 8:56 am
Location: 奈良
Native language: Greek
Gender: Male

Next

Return to Culture and Info about living in Japan

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests