Learn Japanese with JapanesePod101.com

View topic - Help improve my passage, please?

Help improve my passage, please?

Feel free to practice writing in Japanese or romaji. Help each other out with corrections or replying back in Japanese

Help improve my passage, please?

Postby FlonneTheFallenAngel » Wed 07.02.2008 5:26 am

I had to write responses in Japanese to the questions "What do you think of Japan and Japanese people", and "why do you want to study Japanese", and though I've done that, I'm sure there are many errors in it.

I was wondering if anyone here could help me out a bit by telling me how to improve my grammar in these paragraphs, and what I did wrong.

The content of them is all nonsense, but it's the language used that matters.

Image
FlonneTheFallenAngel
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed 07.02.2008 5:20 am

Re: Help improve my passage, please?

Postby richvh » Wed 07.02.2008 8:21 am

I think we need to see what you were trying to say.
Richard VanHouten
ゆきの物語
richvh
 
Posts: 6451
Joined: Thu 09.29.2005 10:35 pm

Re: Help improve my passage, please?

Postby Mike Cash » Wed 07.02.2008 9:02 am

You have a lot of 入力 and 漢字変換 errors that make it harder to wade through than do the grammar/style errors.

It would be easier to work with if you would go through and (as best you can) correct the typos and then include the text directly in the post instead of as an image file.
Never underestimate my capacity for pettiness.
User avatar
Mike Cash
 
Posts: 2737
Joined: Sun 08.20.2006 3:38 am
Native language: English

Re: Help improve my passage, please?

Postby becki_kanou » Wed 07.02.2008 10:27 am

I had some time on my hands so I converted it to text and corrected the obvious henkan misses. Anybody want to give the grammar a go?

私の人生の中で数ヶ国に行ったことがありますけど、一番印象に残っている思い出、私が訪れた国は絶対日本です。一部の理由は日本の素晴らしい新幹線のような学術ですが、もっと重要な一部の理由は日本の面白い文化とよく優しくて、勉強熱心な人々です。
日本は正に驚くべき国で、沢山いい物は日本で作っています。例えば、私はいくつかの魅惑的、日本で作った映画を見て感動しました。その映画の例の一つは三池崇史の中国の鳥人という映画です。
日本の文化と広範な歴史について学ぶことは大変楽しいと思います。日本はお祭りのような日本の国外で起こらないことがあって、日本は変わったかた(?)はとても面白いですから。特に灯籠流しのような活動は面白いと思います。日本は素晴らしい国です。

日本語を勉強することを始まった時に理由は私の学校で9年生フランス語か日本語を勉強しなければなりませんでした。しかし、その年の後で私は日本語の科目が大好きな人になりました。次の年に日本を訪問した時に日本の文化について学んで、沢山日本人に会いました。それはとても面白かった経験で、NZに帰ってから私は日本語に大きい興味がありました。
今、私は日本の映画と本のようなものに興味があります。私は最近いくつかの日本の作家の本を読みましたけど、私の一番好きな日本の作家は村上春樹です。今私は村上春樹の「めくらやなぎと眠る女」という本を読んでいて、楽しんでいます。日本語を勉強することを楽しんで、日本の文化に興味があるので日本語を勉強したいです。
そうだ、嬉しいんだ、生きる喜び!
例え胸の傷が痛んでも。
User avatar
becki_kanou
 
Posts: 3402
Joined: Sat 04.19.2008 10:09 pm
Location: Hyogo, Japan
Skype chat: yes_becki
Native language: U.S. English, 米語
Gender: Female

Re: Help improve my passage, please?

Postby AJBryant » Wed 07.02.2008 1:12 pm

Becky, Becky, Becky.

Ya gotta start teaching more fishing techniques instead of doling out fish. 8)

Tony
User avatar
AJBryant
Site Admin
 
Posts: 5313
Joined: Sun 10.09.2005 11:29 am
Location: Indiana
Native language: English
Gender: Male

Re: Help improve my passage, please?

Postby FlonneTheFallenAngel » Wed 07.02.2008 2:41 pm

Mike Cash wrote:You have a lot of 入力 and 漢字変換 errors that make it harder to wade through than do the grammar/style errors.

It would be easier to work with if you would go through and (as best you can) correct the typos and then include the text directly in the post instead of as an image file.


Sorry, it's just I'm supposed to be limited by what kanji I know.

By the way, thanks for the help, people. Would it be possible to have this thread deleted?
FlonneTheFallenAngel
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed 07.02.2008 5:20 am

Re: Help improve my passage, please?

Postby becki_kanou » Wed 07.02.2008 7:18 pm

AJBryant wrote:Becky, Becky, Becky.

Ya gotta start teaching more fishing techniques instead of doling out fish. 8)

Tony


It was late at night and I was bored...

FlonneThe FAllen Angel wrote:Sorry, it's just I'm supposed to be limited by what kanji I know.


Just something that struck me, but how do you know the kanji for 灯籠流し and 広範 but not えいが?
Not teasing, I'm actually curious.
そうだ、嬉しいんだ、生きる喜び!
例え胸の傷が痛んでも。
User avatar
becki_kanou
 
Posts: 3402
Joined: Sat 04.19.2008 10:09 pm
Location: Hyogo, Japan
Skype chat: yes_becki
Native language: U.S. English, 米語
Gender: Female

Re: Help improve my passage, please?

Postby Harisenbon » Wed 07.02.2008 9:29 pm

becki_kanou wrote:Just something that struck me, but how do you know the kanji for 灯籠流し and 広範 but not えいが?
Not teasing, I'm actually curious.


I assume they just put everything into the IME and just went with whatever came out. Depending on how many words they had strung together when they pressed the henkan key, the right kanji or the wrong kanji would have come out.
Want to learn Japanese the right way? How about for free?
Ippatsu // Japanesetesting.com
User avatar
Harisenbon
 
Posts: 2964
Joined: Tue 06.14.2005 3:24 am
Location: Gifu, Japan
Native language: (poor) English

Re: Help improve my passage, please?

Postby FlonneTheFallenAngel » Thu 07.03.2008 12:10 am

becki_kanou wrote:Just something that struck me, but how do you know the kanji for 灯籠流し and 広範 but not えいが?
Not teasing, I'm actually curious.

I don't.

It's just that at that point I couldn't be bothered trying to figure out the hiragana for them, after I got the words from Google Translate.
FlonneTheFallenAngel
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed 07.02.2008 5:20 am

Re: Help improve my passage, please?

Postby richvh » Thu 07.03.2008 4:16 am

How about using a dictionary next time? Automatic translators should not be used to translate into a language other than your own for anything other than laughs. They should be used to translate into your own language only to get a rough idea of what is meant.
Richard VanHouten
ゆきの物語
richvh
 
Posts: 6451
Joined: Thu 09.29.2005 10:35 pm

Re: Help improve my passage, please?

Postby FlonneTheFallenAngel » Thu 07.03.2008 4:30 am

richvh wrote:How about using a dictionary next time? Automatic translators should not be used to translate into a language other than your own for anything other than laughs. They should be used to translate into your own language only to get a rough idea of what is meant.

I've only used an online translator to translate single words that my dictionary does not contain.

In any case, I handed in a final copy of my passages to my teacher, and he discovered a few mistakes that I have now corrected. Would it be possible to now get this topic deleted?
FlonneTheFallenAngel
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed 07.02.2008 5:20 am

Re: Help improve my passage, please?

Postby Sairana » Thu 07.03.2008 4:53 am

FlonneTheFallenAngel wrote:Would it be possible to now get this topic deleted?


That's not the way forums work. When you're done with a topic, it's simply abandoned, not deleted.
Sairana
 
Posts: 709
Joined: Wed 02.27.2008 11:54 pm
Native language: (US) English
Gender: Female

Re: Help improve my passage, please?

Postby Wakannai » Thu 07.03.2008 5:58 am

deleting a topic is like pointing a gun in someone's face and telling them, "This conversation never happened."
Wakannai
 
Posts: 658
Joined: Thu 10.18.2007 6:38 am

Re: Help improve my passage, please?

Postby FlonneTheFallenAngel » Thu 07.03.2008 6:11 am

Wakannai wrote:deleting a topic is like pointing a gun in someone's face and telling them, "This conversation never happened."

Where does the gun come in?

Where's the threat?
FlonneTheFallenAngel
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed 07.02.2008 5:20 am

Re: Help improve my passage, please?

Postby Wakannai » Thu 07.03.2008 6:27 am

Deleting a thread forces people to forget. That is the gun. If later someone attempts to search this thread out, they won't be able to find it. That is the threat.
Wakannai
 
Posts: 658
Joined: Thu 10.18.2007 6:38 am

Next

Return to 日本語の練習 (Practice Japanese)

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 4 guests