View topic - The TJP Novel Game!
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For the record though here is the entire story so far:
Yesterday the red wagon carried big sacks filled with rice.However today it moved slowly under the guidance provided with great spiritual weight.
A fragile banana tasted like a pile of garbage.I threw up. Then I washed my mouth out with listerine until it felt thoroughly clean.
Once everyone realized Tony smashed his hand with enormous ninja techniques his secret howl woke the dead. Ghosts appeared around the Japanese museum in Tony's back, haunting soundlessly, the jerks. Still, he gallantly led antidisestablishmentarians away by racing crazily against the tides of war, hoping that by doing so he blows up.
Tina tried communicating with Tony but spiritually exhausted beyond understanding. While days passed, TheJapanShop.com continued soliciting new business among prostitutes. Engorged chipmunks preached emotively towards Tony's spirit.
Sales plummeted crazily after revelations about impropriety abounded.
Were things to end here?
No! Actually, nothing can rise above ashes of defeat, instantly overcoming death. Tony and Tina can! But first Tina must discover how to dance. Only then can we turn Tony's soul in a manner worthy of him. Surprisingly she danced the Tango stupidly. Yet, despite being extremely awkward she managed to keep every watcher alert by preserving her mysterious rhythm.
Afterwards cows lowed mournfully as dogs howled in moonlit fields. The online community rebelled violently, pitchforks raised, deadly weapons wide and high. Military forces raided thejapanesepage commandeering kanji supplies and kana charts for use in suppressing Tony's resurrection. Meanwhile supporters gathered dust.
Unfortunately thejapanesepage was eaten by giant hamsters wearing silky underwear on their heads, who didn't care what others thought of them and liked their attention,regardless. Eventually the hamsters felt naseous and vomitted grossly.
Thejapanese page flew and came back in a messy pile. Then decontamination equipment accidentally broke and promptly crashed into the tourists <killing> all their lapdogs devastatingly. Fleeing, they scatter randomly thus causing sadness and confusion all over Japan.
The japanesepage was injured apparently seriously so there was only one thing left to do- call Tony! An announcement of great importance echoed through the webpage. Tony was alive and surprised to find such a backlog<of> blocking SPAM! Hotmail addresses were rapidly becoming backlogged by the overwhelming crap flung towards their faces.
Genki textbooks were stolen from theJapanshop by badgers, because they evolved language similar to Japanese and needed references capable of expanding their understanding of grammar. However differences arose between badger's individual opinions of nuance resulting in brutal carnage.
Thejapanesepage condemned pork rather harshly without reference to anything! Swine were whining noisily while badgers slaughtered grammar rules with impunity. Unbeknownst to the badgers grammar nazis plotted revenge while linguists collected propaganda supporting Tony’s disappearance.
Tenma disembarked from her ship Yakumo onto land spanning thousands of miles. Villagers with spears chased Tenma senselessly through jungle filled with hostile snakes that eat people. But she evaded counterattacks successfully by jury-rigging on her pith-hat a de-snakefier using only floss as a binder. Snakes fell victim to Tenma’s de-snakeifier by crawling down tiny strings soaked with water and tinged green with poison.
Tenma, triumphantly excited, forged several large iron arrows hoping they’d be effective against attacking reptiles. Entering a clearing, she quickly ran towards a boulder and covered it with some more string-based poison. Tony was overjoyed because most other potential enemies had turned to ashes.
Tina’s fears were: having difficulty with all men looking dangerously like they shouldn’t be, and women who misbehaved while flirting with the remaining shameless boyfriends. Ghostly apparitions arose in anger demanding body contact with Tina, and blood. Perverted Zombies demanded fresh victims with BBQ-sauce flavored popsicles. Tina reached out for some weapons and grabbed 19 shuriken.
Unfortunately the shuriken weren't very pointy and Tina then searched Suzuki for help. <The> papers printed <were> very effective but Suzuki cut snowflakes and paper-dolls from them!
Paperdolls unexpectedly came alive while advancing hastily towards Suzuki-sama, arms flailing like pinwheels, hurling snowflakes at Ami.
Unfortunately Ami’s allergy killed more marionettes than Tenma and Takanohana combined. Her nightmare brought pain and euphoria to all.
Society frowned when Ami’s crazy mother prepared BBQ-sauce flavored popsicles for the zombies. However the society's response became increasingly violent when the zombies smelled the fresh BBQ sauce and started rampaging through the popsical vendor’s shop devouring all of the people. But Tenma unleashed her mega-dogs which were small though fierce, bloodthirtsy yet obedient, who savaged the zombies, driving the popsicle stand wild. Everyone grabbed their popsicles tightly and ran towards the clearing where Tenma was waiting to go to the city and shop for weapons. When Tina heard the approaching crowd she flew over the cuckoo’s nest an began battling zombies by suffocating them with mochi and nattou. EWWWWWWW!!!!!!
Everyone tried holding hands, but there was too much nattou stench. Expectations dropped tremendously as they all held their breath in terror. Tokyo shuddered because all life-sustaining nourishment was
instantaneously sucked away from the nattou and the zombies absorbed it leaving only the glutinous mush of mochi behind.
Tony’s zombie form rampaged unchecked throughout the city when the big nattou went crazy, stinking out the metropolis, causing pollution overload. Tokyo's red-light district was turning into a matsuri featuring dancers. Nattou plagued cosplayers while Tina abducted with UFO relics and Suzuki consoled her friend and everyone ate stink-reducing tablets patented by Tony.
Finally the melee escalated into full-scale war pitting zombies agaisnt ninjas and pirates against yakuza. Epic battles in Shinjuku station, swordplay, cosplay and roleplay in Shibuya, Godzilla trampling Akihabara, Mothra fighting sumo passionately before everything came crashing down around the combatants. The whole coluntry was covered by liquid nattou and mochi because of explosions in factories making zombie-repellent and de-zombifying innersoles for explorers. Tony was speechless when Tenma told him that he would recover if he meditated publically on his museum, because that was where his trail of destructive disasters were being created.
One toilet brush broke, causing flooding and sewer issues. In India, toilet "matter" mysteriously increased when Tony kicked the toilet-bowl in his museum. Furthermore he realized that the plumbing wasn’t properly functioning and the tools were damaged beyond human ken. Tenma had invented a super-duper pooper-scooper machine which solved plumbing troubles almost instantly! Tenma’s skills were recognized by all as inferior to none!
Bananas began peeling themselves while chaos spread across the entire world globe.
“Something untowards this series of disasters predicates Armageddon which rapidly de-evolves all lifeforms!” Hoping for miraculous intervention everyone was looking directly at Tina, who knew how to dance traditional Japanese Bon-Odori accompanied by bagpipes and zithers played by Ukrainian pygmies wearing Hanten and shabby Bermuda onion-belts. When the music began, Tina elegantly danced and exhibited grace from within as though floating on strawberry wings. Everyone hated the bagpipes because they sucked.
However the monkeys which carried Tina’s favorite cheeses were ecstatic, leaping towards the door, leading a tapdancing parade of fromage. During the parade Gorgonzola took hold of the fondue and waltzed away, while Camembert and Roquefort tangoed the night away. Limburgher rumbaed and Mozzarella melted into luscious puddles. Monsters were defeated by cheesy puns and corny gags.
Tony recovered fortunately and hugged everyone gleefully, smiling and laughing until he cried.
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Is anyone going to publish it?!
I'm enjoying this story too (though at times it became a bit weird!!) and I think we should continue it.
gabi in japan
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