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Does this make sense?

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Does this make sense?

Postby kilometers » Tue 02.24.2009 3:55 pm

すべてのコンピューターを直しまうとぶちょうはよろこんでくれます。そして、私は宿題もできてしまいます。

Whenever I finish fixing all the computers, my manager expresses her gratitude to me. I can also completely finish my homework too.

The first part should be ok since one of my lang-8 friends corrected it for me. The second part has a slight change made to it. I'd ask my friend on lang-8 but I can't access it from work (and I go directly to class after). ~てしまう in this case means to do something completely and できる to say that I can do homework then. I'm not sure if you can use it this way. Or maybe I should use てもいいです?

宿題もしてしまってもいいですよ。 (Can you even do that?)
"I may finish my homework completely, too."

Some clerification would be fantastic. Thanks a bunch!
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Re: Does this make sense?

Postby Yudan Taiteki » Tue 02.24.2009 4:21 pm

kilometers wrote:すべてのコンピューターを直しまうとぶちょうはよろこんでくれます。そして、私は宿題もできてしまいます。


Did you mean 直してしまうと?

Whenever I finish fixing all the computers, my manager expresses her gratitude to me. I can also completely finish my homework too.


I don't fully understand the English, so I'm not sure what to recommend for the Japanese.

宿題もしてしまってもいいですよ。 (Can you even do that?)
"I may finish my homework completely, too."


てもいい means to have permission to do something. Unless your manager has to give you permission to do your homework, that doesn't work. However, I don't think てもいい usually works with しまう.
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Re: Does this make sense?

Postby kilometers » Tue 02.24.2009 4:35 pm

Whooops. I have this bad habit of not proofreading my posts.
Anyways, yes, I meant 直してしまうと。

I'll see if I can make it clearer. Sometimes typing something in Japanese and translating it to English makes it sound weird. Anyways, let me rephrase. "Whenever I finish all the computer repairs my manager becomes satisfied that the work is done.I can complete my homework at this time too." meaning I am allowed to do it while I'm at work after I finish repairing all the computers (since there is nothing else to do).
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Re: Does this make sense?

Postby Yudan Taiteki » Tue 02.24.2009 4:58 pm

kilometers wrote:Whooops. I have this bad habit of not proofreading my posts.
Anyways, yes, I meant 直してしまうと。

I'll see if I can make it clearer. Sometimes typing something in Japanese and translating it to English makes it sound weird. Anyways, let me rephrase. "Whenever I finish all the computer repairs my manager becomes satisfied that the work is done.I can complete my homework at this time too." meaning I am allowed to do it while I'm at work after I finish repairing all the computers (since there is nothing else to do).


That's still not natural English to me, but maybe I see what you're getting at.

コンピューターを全部直してしまうと部長が喜んでくれます。それで、宿題してもいいんです。

I don't think I would use しまう in the second part.
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Re: Does this make sense?

Postby kilometers » Tue 02.24.2009 5:06 pm

Ok. Thanks a bunch!
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Re: Does this make sense?

Postby kurisuto » Tue 02.24.2009 5:42 pm

If it can be of some help : you shouldn't use しまう everywhere, twice in a row may be a bit too much (it's better to use it with the verb you want to emphasize for instance). It looks like you think it's really needed in this context, while it is not. But the thing that I find really unnatural is the second しまう : as Yudan said, it seems weird with てもいい, but maybe even stranger with a potential verb. While してしまいます is just fine, できてしまいます doesn't sound correct.

I think you wanted to say that you can finish your homework entirely, but the problem in my opinion is that in your sentence the しまう part refers to the possibility of doing your homework, not the fact of doing it (so I think your sentence means something like " *I do completely the fact that I can do my homework"). If you really want to use a potential and しまう, I think you could say してしまえます (not sure, but logically, the potential part would have to be on しまう).

Back to your sentence, 宿題もできます is fine, or, as Yudan suggested, 宿題してもいいんです.
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Re: Does this make sense?

Postby AJBryant » Wed 02.25.2009 2:00 pm

How about 宿題させてくれます?
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