Salaryman Senryu

[Yudan Taiteki]

電車乗り
ドラクエをやる
暇な時

Of course I'm neither a salaryman nor a poet so that's probably bad...

[Mike Cash]

ブス女
一度褒めると
逃げられぬ

Lemme see if I understand it correctly: "Once you praise an ugly woman, there's no escaping her"? ('Course, that doesn't sound nearly so poetic, but...)

That's the whole idea.

幸せの
秘訣はブスと
の結婚だ

I just made that one up to atone for the other one.

[NileCat]

電車乗り
ドラクエをやる
暇な時

I like it. It describes our daily life casually.The kanji "暇" projects the mood straightforward.
My personal criterion for enjoying Senryu is that how I can imagine the scene vividly. I can picture Chris in the Yamanote-line train with his DS and other Japanese passengers see him with curious eyes.

[NileCat]

幸せの
秘訣はブスと
の結婚だ

I just made that one up to atone for the other one.

I knew you were a gentleman.

[NileCat]

Hi の声
とっさの返事
はいでした

(;´∇｀)　- inuinu

そう、いつものことです。でも自分にしかわからないからいいの！

[kurisuto]

幸せの
秘訣はブスと
の結婚だ

6

Needless to say, I liked it anyway

My turn :

ブルブルと
待つしかないよ
鍵忘れ

(well, not sure that's correct...)

[Yudan Taiteki]

字余り is perfectly acceptable (some haiku/waka/senryu even have 2 extra mora in a line); it's particularly common when one of the mora is ん or a lengthened vowel.

[kurisuto]

Please, let me exhibit my ignorance, would you ?