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does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

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does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby Gan » Mon 11.16.2009 8:21 pm

I know I don't post here a lot anymore (if I ever did!) but I feel I have to just, vent.

Me, I turned 22 today and I've got to thinking about how I've not accomplished one thing so far.
I'm not in school. I've no job. I get in arguments with my family about my religious beliefs or my lack of them.
Anyway, I feel like I'm having a midlife crisis at 22. Can that be normal? It scares me actually.
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Re: does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby Dehitay » Mon 11.16.2009 8:38 pm

I'm also currently suffering from an anti-accomplishment disorder. Though in my case, it's mostly cause of one specific accomplishment that I just can't seem to accomplish. It's been a year since I got my degree in Computer Science, and for the life of me, I can't get employment that actually puts the degree to use.

However, in this situation, you can always resort to comparing yourself to other people. You wouldn't have the ability to post here if there wasn't a huge number of people who have things worse than you. Just put things in the right perspective and your life won't really seem bad by comparison. However, do make sure not to lose your motivation. That's probly half the reason I don't have a career yet.
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Re: does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby chikara » Mon 11.16.2009 10:23 pm

theshadowtaker wrote:does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

No.

Seriously though I don't think it is that uncommon for people to feel some lack of direction, or as Dehitay-san put it "anti-accomplishment disorder", at some point in their life. Try not to dwell on what you haven't achieved to date but try and set yourself some goals that are achievable that you can work towards going forward. We all need to feel a purpose in life.

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theshadowtaker wrote:... I get in arguments with my family about my religious beliefs or my lack of them. ....

I've turned 22 twice so far and am on my way to a third time and I still get into arguments with my family about my lack of religious beliefs. They are a lot less frequent now though because I always win. :)
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Re: does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby IceCream » Mon 11.16.2009 10:44 pm

pretty much everyone i know went through this at around 22 to one extent or another. generally in the year after leaving university. i guess it's a tough time for a lot of people.

i agree with what chikara wrote, don't focus on things you haven't acheived. In fact, you've probably acheived plenty, your just viewing it that way.

And setting some goals is a good thing, but i think making them sort of immediate goals works more nicely when you feel like this. Don't worry too much about what you want to do for the rest of your life, but what you realllllly want to do now. think about what would make you happiest if you were doing that right now, and then aim towards that. Its no big deal if you change your mind later, as long as you do something towards anything now.

And, i don't even know what you mean by "accomplishment", but try to forget about it. If you do things that make you happy, this word will become more and more meaningless...
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Re: does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby JaySee » Mon 11.16.2009 11:08 pm

It's not uncommon: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter_life_crisis (although this seems to be more related to 'entering the real world' after finishing school)
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Re: does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby furrykef » Tue 11.17.2009 1:17 am

I'm in 25 and in basically the same situation, minus the religious arguments. I (along with a team of developers) have a Nintendo DS game that technically hits shelves tomorrow -- "technically" because you can only order it online for now, as far as I'm aware -- but it's not really that big an accomplishment for me, especially 'cause our company is so young they can't afford to pay me. :P

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Re: does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby leonl » Tue 11.17.2009 1:35 am

theshadowtaker wrote:I know I don't post here a lot anymore (if I ever did!) but I feel I have to just, vent.

Me, I turned 22 today and I've got to thinking about how I've not accomplished one thing so far.
I'm not in school. I've no job. I get in arguments with my family about my religious beliefs or my lack of them.
Anyway, I feel like I'm having a midlife crisis at 22. Can that be normal? It scares me actually.


LOl same boat as me, I turn 22 on sat and I feel the exact same way, 22, Junior in college, no job, I don't have any issues with my family, but this is because we are rather distant at this point in my life. I feel like I havent really done much. I see people are age who are already starting careers and doing things for themselves and Im still here in college. You're not alone
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Re: does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby Sairana » Tue 11.17.2009 2:22 am

I'll let you know how it feels once I decide to stop turning 21.

^_^
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Re: does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby yukamina » Tue 11.17.2009 6:43 pm

After high school I couldn't find a job I liked(and therefore kept) and I don't know what to do with my life...in the mean time I've started university. Maybe I can teach English in Japan if things work out.
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Re: does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby tōkai devotee » Tue 11.17.2009 8:42 pm

At my age, I wish I was turning 22 again!!! But, I actually went through what you're feeling when I was 20 or 21. I was feeling burnt out and helpless. When I was 22, I decided to take a year off University, got myself a working-holiday visa for Japan and went and lived there. It was my second trip to Japan and was the one of the best years of my life! The other best years were after I graduated Uni and went back to Japan again for another 2.5 years. I wish I could go back to those days.

It can be a difficult time for many people -- after finishing school, not being able to find employment and not knowing what to do with your life, but hang in there, things usually work out if you don't give up.
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Re: does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby Mike Cash » Wed 11.18.2009 7:58 am

Here's a fun (or depressing) little time-killing activity:

Think of all the people who have accomplished things and died at a younger age than you.

For example, I'm 44 and my list could include people like:

1. Jesus Christ (33)
2. Hank Williams (29)
3. Buddy Holly (22)
4. General Thomas J. "Stonewall" Jackson (39)
5. William Walker (36)

Of course, such a list could never really be complete.

It is said that the unexamined life is not worth living. Cash's Corollary to that is "the overly-examined life is too depressing to live".

Lighten up.
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Re: does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby Gan » Wed 11.18.2009 2:00 pm

Thanks for the replies everyone. I guess it's not un-common, but the only way I get online now is at the library. LOL

Also there is a whole lot more things that depress me I just don't think you all would want to be bothered with it.

Mr. Cash, that is quite a depressing list indeed, and since I'm a sort of a pessimist, it's tenfold that. haha

tokai devotee: I felt this way at 18, 19, 20, 21, and now 22. It's just the older I get, the more it dawns on me that I've accomplished not one thing.

Also I have a lack of ambition to do anything because I feel that it probably wouldn't matter if I did anyway.

Chikara, well I've been having arguments, and have been despised for my lack of belief for a few years now.. It's kind of annoying. But I thank you for your advise,

and I thank everyone else too.
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Re: does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby two_heads_talking » Wed 11.18.2009 5:15 pm

Shadowtaker, if we only worried about what we never accomplished, then never did anything due to our lack of accomplishing anything we'd never get anywhere.

Are you familiar with President Abraham Lincolns history. He failed at pretty much everything he did. But, he was one of the greatest Presidents of the United States..

We can look at life two ways.. what we didn't do or what we can do.. If you spend all your time looking back, how are you ever going to know where you want to go?

Take a little while, clear your mind, write down some goals that you would like to accomplish, then write down the things you need to do short and medium terms to accomplish those goals..

for example, if a job is your long term goal, contacts, interviews, proper clothing, etc would be short term goal that would need to be tackled to make th elong term goal happen.

and with each accomplishment you will feel better about yourself.. It's not uncommon to be in your early 20's and not be sure of what is next. you are in good company with the rest of the world.. Just don't get down on yourself..
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Re: does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby 血まみれ剣術師 » Thu 11.19.2009 8:02 pm

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Last edited by 血まみれ剣術師 on Mon 07.04.2011 9:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: does turning 22 always feel bad for everyone?

Postby Mike Cash » Sat 11.21.2009 8:06 am

I can't believe I left out of my list the great Jack Benny, who sadly passed from our midst at the oh-so-young age of 39.
Never underestimate my capacity for pettiness.
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