EU agrees to adopt English spelling changes

[chikara]

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications. Although Germany lobbied hard to have German accepted as the preferred language Chancellor Angela Merkel said she was very happy with English given the spelling concessions that have been agreed upon. As part of the negotiations it was agreed that English spelling had some room for improvement and a five-year phased plan has been adopted for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). The spelling changes are to remove the pronunciation ambiguities in British English and make the language simpler for non-native speakers.

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

Reuters - 1 April 2010

[tydin]

This was really entertaining.

[TJack]

I kant vait tu vrit lik zis al ze tim! fiv yirs kant kum eni fastr.

[coco]

[john2]

I vaz hopping tat tshinese karakterz vould be uzed instead.