Japanese view

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Japanese view

Post by byte » Wed 12.14.2005 4:06 pm

I've got a friend in Japan, who says that I may be disappointed in them.
How do the Japanese view disappointment between friends?
Is that the same as saying "I've failed you"?
I searched the net and ran a search on the forums before posting here.
I've read a lot of great advice, especially grammar.
Any help, advice, or thoughts would help.

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RE: Japanese view

Post by mandolin » Wed 12.14.2005 5:26 pm

That's a pretty vague question.

Going with a gut guess, though.... they might be self concious about their physical appearance. That perhaps you won't like what you see, so to speak. Although, if you've already seen a picture, that's probably not the case.... unless they sent you a photo of someone else. :P

Umm... yeah, if you don't think that's it, I think we'd need more info.

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RE: Japanese view

Post by byte » Wed 12.14.2005 5:59 pm

Mandolin, may I pm you?

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RE: Social differences?

Post by Damorith » Fri 12.16.2005 9:50 am

I agree with Mandolin's opinion as that could very easily be the case but want to add some other possibilities of what he may of meant by saying "you might be dissapointed in him". I went to Japan earlier this year and stayed with a host family. Before I went I didn't have much of an interest in Japan but went basically to go on a senior trip (and because I didn't want to waste all those Japanese classes). From my experience I found that they are almost opposite to Americans. For example, they would never brag about anything and if you complimented them they would almost disagree with you in a way (no matter how sincere the compliment). You couldn't ask people "hey are you good at ---" because if you did they would say no even if they were good.
In my case they always did their best to make me feel comfortable and at home and treated me with so much respect and complimented me constantly for the smallest things, I just wasn't used to it. Something to consider when your friend said that "you may be disappointed" would be the difference in their culture from ours. They are more aware of their social structure then America I found (which I think is why they have so many ways to talk in different levels of formal and informal) and act differently because of it. I think when your friend said that, they didn't mean "I failed you" but rather I might fail to meet your social expectations, or in other words "not cool enough" maybe based on their looks like Mandolin said or for other reasons.

I have an idea (though it could be the wrong). While I was there, I and everyone who went on the trip were treated like kings basically. Being American there made you very unique, in a good way. Random people wanted to take pictures with my friends and I just because we were American and had "gold hair" or were "really tall" etc. It may sound weird but they hold Americans highly and it shows in how much of our culture they adopt (almost like they were force fed MTV). While I was there I was treated "like the popular kid" (which I wasn't in high school) because of their views of Americans. So being American it could be he holds you to a different standard/level and finds himself disappointing in your eyes.
Anyway that’s my best guess and attempt to explain what he meant. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, most what I said is just from personal experience and could very easily be incorrect. Feel free to start a new topic and debate anything I said if you disagree with my reasonings. GL with your friend, you won't be dissapointed i'm sure. :)

PS: Japanese > Americans

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