Learn Japanese with JapanesePod101.com

View topic - Please, can you help me to correct /verify translation?

Please, can you help me to correct /verify translation?

Do you have a translation question?

Please, can you help me to correct /verify translation?

Postby tokyotower » Thu 03.08.2012 12:17 pm

Please, can you help me to correct my translations if make sense and is good?
I hope I did not make too much mistakes/misrepresentations.

1) 6カ国10公演とても刺激的な日々でした
Everyday was very inspiring with 6 shows in 10 countries

2) 移動日も含めたら12カ国を回りました
10分に睡眠はとれなかったけど
たくさんの人々に出会い想いを感じ
次の制作のMOTIVATIONやENERGIESを
充電する事ができました
I went around for 12 countries including also the days of countries of passage
I gathered 10 minutes of sleep but
I feel the emotions of many people I encounter
I could charge the energy and motivation for the next release

3)新しく見えてきたもの
それをMUSICという形で具現化して行きたいと想います
I think I want to change embody it with the form of that music
that been seen newly??

4) this is hard I was not able to write it something that make sense:
Live Showに向かうまでの意識
作品に対する取り組み方 詩への想い


Thank you in advance :)
tokyotower
 
Posts: 30
Joined: Fri 01.13.2012 4:46 am
Native language: Italian

Re: Please, can you help me to correct /verify translation?

Postby Ongakuka » Fri 03.09.2012 9:27 am

1) 6カ国10公演とても刺激的な日々でした


Something feels odd about the Japanese to me here. It seems strange there is nothing connecting 10公演 To とても

I would translate 刺激的な日々でした As 'some very inspiring days' Or something. 'Everyday' is not necessarily a wrong translation though.

I went around for 12 countries including also the days of countries of passage


The translation is correct but the English in the second half is a bit clunky. Maybe try keeping the sentence structure the same as the Japanese (i.e starting with 'Including')

10分に睡眠はとれなかったけど


This expression sounds unfamiliar to me but I would have thought it means 'I was not able to sleep for 10 minutes'

I feel the memories of many people I encounter

Maybe 'I could charge my motivation...'


3)新しく見えてきたもの
それをMUSICという形で具現化して行きたいと想います


What I have come to see anew, I would like to realise that in the form of MUSIC

4) this is hard I was not able to write it something that make sense:


Me too. It seems to be poetic on purpose but I can't really untie the true meaning behind it. Anyway great job! ^_^
なぜなら、おまえは・・・・・・人形だ
User avatar
Ongakuka
 
Posts: 999
Joined: Mon 09.26.2005 1:07 pm

Re: Please, can you help me to correct /verify translation?

Postby tokyotower » Fri 03.09.2012 10:57 am

Thank you so much for the corrections!
I saw that I understand the 'general meaning', my problem is to put in english!

I'll try to study more hard! Thanks!
tokyotower
 
Posts: 30
Joined: Fri 01.13.2012 4:46 am
Native language: Italian

Re: Please, can you help me to correct /verify translation?

Postby Hyperworm » Fri 03.09.2012 11:26 am

Ongakuka wrote:
10分に睡眠はとれなかったけど


This expression sounds unfamiliar to me but I would have thought it means 'I was not able to sleep for 10 minutes'
Nope. You'd need の instead of に (and probably は would need to change too).

Hint: it's wordplay. Try kanji :)
fun translation snippets | need something translated?
BTC@1KMZXgoWiDshQis5Z7feCx8jaiP4QAB2ks
User avatar
Hyperworm
 
Posts: 493
Joined: Tue 11.20.2007 2:26 pm
Native language: English
Gender: Male

Re: Please, can you help me to correct /verify translation?

Postby tokyotower » Fri 03.09.2012 12:24 pm

I think that expression mean:
十分に睡眠はとれなかったけど (I couldn't get enough sleep )

Because 十分に dont mean always "10 minutes" but also 'not sufficently' /plenty.

Right?
tokyotower
 
Posts: 30
Joined: Fri 01.13.2012 4:46 am
Native language: Italian

Re: Please, can you help me to correct /verify translation?

Postby Hyperworm » Fri 03.09.2012 12:59 pm

You got it :D
fun translation snippets | need something translated?
BTC@1KMZXgoWiDshQis5Z7feCx8jaiP4QAB2ks
User avatar
Hyperworm
 
Posts: 493
Joined: Tue 11.20.2007 2:26 pm
Native language: English
Gender: Male

Re: Please, can you help me to correct /verify translation?

Postby tokyotower » Fri 03.09.2012 1:20 pm

YAYYYYY!! :D :D :D
tokyotower
 
Posts: 30
Joined: Fri 01.13.2012 4:46 am
Native language: Italian

Re: Please, can you help me to correct /verify translation?

Postby Ongakuka » Sat 03.10.2012 8:24 am

lol thanks guys :D
なぜなら、おまえは・・・・・・人形だ
User avatar
Ongakuka
 
Posts: 999
Joined: Mon 09.26.2005 1:07 pm


Return to Translation Questions or Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests