Learn Japanese with JapanesePod101.com

View topic - Grammar check?

Grammar check?

Feel free to practice writing in Japanese or romaji. Help each other out with corrections or replying back in Japanese

Grammar check?

Postby Txkun » Wed 03.08.2006 9:14 am

Hi!
I'm not too sure about the grammar of the following post of my blog.
I'm not sure about tsukurareru (it's right as a passive and a verb meaning to make a videogame?).

本当に日本に凄いゲームは作られる。
この頃時間ではありませんそしてなにも遊びませんでしたでも請求にこのゲームを待っている。
これは直ぐにヨーロッパにあります願うよ!
全く!面白いdesignね

Thanks for any correction! :D

p.s.
I was talking about this game http://www.o-kami.jp/
User avatar
Txkun
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Fri 08.26.2005 3:17 am
Location: Rome
Native language: Italian
Gender: Male

RE: Grammar check?

Postby Mukade » Wed 03.08.2006 9:40 am

Since they are currently making great videogames, you might want to change it to:
本当に日本ですごいなゲームは作られてる
Also note that when an action takes place somewhere, we will use the particle で.

Next, you want to say that you have no time, so change it to:
この頃時間ありません。

Also, notice that そして and でも tend to be sentence-starters. "To play a game" in Japanese typically uses the verb する. You might want to be a bit more specific, too. And, once again, this is an ongoing state, so:
そしてどんなゲームでもできてない。

In the next sentence, I think what you want to say is "But, I'm really waiting for this (previously named) game!" If this is correct, this might sound a little more natural:
でも、このゲームに本当に待てない。(Lit., "But, I really can't wait for this game.")

Next, you can use でる to express the idea of "to release" or "to come out (in stores/theaters/etc.)." Put that in 〜て form + ほしい and you get "I really want (you to do〜)..."
これをすぐにヨーロパで出てほしいね!

You can then emphasize this with the follow-up:
お願いぃ〜!

Finally, 全く tends to be used with negative sentences. If you don't mind being a little slangy, maybe you can say:
超面白いデザインね。
意味がなくてもええねん!
User avatar
Mukade
 
Posts: 775
Joined: Fri 02.18.2005 3:30 am
Location: Osaka
Native language: English
Gender: Male

RE: Grammar check?

Postby keatonatron » Wed 03.08.2006 9:50 am

Txkun wrote:
Hi!
I'm not too sure about the grammar of the following post of my blog.
I'm not sure about tsukurareru (it's right as a passive and a verb meaning to make a videogame?).

本当に日本に凄いゲームは作られる。


That's correct, if you mean "Truly, great games are made in Japan."

この頃時間ではありません

This means "This moment is not time." A simple がありません will work to say "At this time, I have no time." Literally, "there is no time."
ではありません means "it isn't..."
は/がありません means something doesn't exist

そしてなにも遊びませんでしたでも請求にこのゲームを待っている。
これは直ぐにヨーロッパにあります願うよ!
全く!面白いdesignね


Some punctuation would be nice :/

And your kanji use is very strange. You didn't use it for commonly kanji-ed words like 何, but you did use kanji for usually hiragana-ed words like すごい and すぐ. I had to look up those two because I've never seen the kanji used for them!

Usually we don't use 遊ぶ for video games. やる is better. The first few times I read that I thought you meant you didn't hang out with your friends lately (the more common usage for 遊ぶ).

I don't know what you were trying to say with 請求.

And the sentence with 願う: If you want to say "I hope" you just end the sentence with ように. (すぐヨーロッパに出るように) 願う is more like you're making an actual request. If that is the case, then you can say すぐヨーロッパに出るというお願いをしている。

And if you didn't realize, when speaking Japanese games "come out" (出る) just like in English ;)
Last edited by keatonatron on Wed 03.08.2006 10:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
keatonatron
 
Posts: 4838
Joined: Sat 02.04.2006 3:31 am
Location: Tokyo (Via Seattle)
Native language: English
Gender: Male

RE: Grammar check?

Postby keatonatron » Wed 03.08.2006 9:52 am

Damn Mukade, you beat me to it. I knew I was taking too long to type in all that quoting crap. B)

Edit: Do I see a すごいな up there?
Last edited by keatonatron on Wed 03.08.2006 9:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
keatonatron
 
Posts: 4838
Joined: Sat 02.04.2006 3:31 am
Location: Tokyo (Via Seattle)
Native language: English
Gender: Male

RE: Grammar check?

Postby Txkun » Wed 03.08.2006 11:36 am

Thank you very much! I didn't realize how strange my japanese could be! :D
I'll study all your suggestions!
User avatar
Txkun
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Fri 08.26.2005 3:17 am
Location: Rome
Native language: Italian
Gender: Male

RE: Grammar check?

Postby AJBryant » Wed 03.08.2006 1:21 pm

Next, you want to say that you have no time, so change it to:
この頃時間がありません。


What's wrong with 時間はない?

Tony
User avatar
AJBryant
Site Admin
 
Posts: 5313
Joined: Sun 10.09.2005 11:29 am
Location: Indiana
Native language: English
Gender: Male

RE: Grammar check?

Postby coco » Wed 03.08.2006 1:23 pm

Txkun-san こんにちは。
本当に日本に凄いゲームは作られる。

本当に日本ではすごいゲームが作られている。

この頃時間ではありませんそしてなにも遊びませんでしたでも請求にこのゲームを待っている。

I couldn't figure out 請求に mean.

請求 【せいきゅう】 (n,vs) claim; demand; application; request; (P ); EP  wwwjdic
I thought you liked to use 性急に.
性急 【せいきゅう】 (adj-na,n) impatience; a quick temper; (P ); EP
------ALC-----------------
性急に 【副】brashly // hotheadedly // impatiently // impetuously
------------------------
性急に待つ has a tone of "antilogy" in Japanese.
性急に is uses like 性急に行動する act impetuously ←form ALC
Do you use 性急に待つ for like as " wait impatiently for〜" ?
If so 首を長くして待っている is one of 慣用句。
so, it might be
・この頃は(or 最近は) 時間がないので(ゲームで)遊ぶことも
できなかったが、 首を長くしてこのゲームの発売を待っている。
・この頃は時間がないので(ゲームで)遊ぶこともなかったが、
このゲームの発売が(orは) 待ち遠しい。

待ち遠しい 【まちどおしい】 (adj) looking forward to; (P ); EP wwwjdic

as Mukade-san and keatonatron -san pointed out,
ゲームの発売を is able to replace with ゲームが出るのを
ゲームの発売が →ゲームの(orが)出るのが

これは直ぐにヨーロッパにあります願うよ!

I also could not figure out 願うよ.
これがすぐにヨーロッパで発売されるといいな。is one of choices.

全く! 面白いdesignね

まったく means as "indeed" ? if so
ホントにおもしろいデザインだね。
The word "design" has various meanings, so I 'm not sure if デザイン and design is same or not.
Ending ね as デザインね is not common for male.

ます form and だ form should not be mixed up in early stage.

I think write with English( means not only Japanese ) is better, because we can understand easily what you wanted to write.

hope this help.:)
Last edited by coco on Wed 03.08.2006 10:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
coco
 
Posts: 3061
Joined: Mon 05.30.2005 12:43 am
Location: 東京都
Native language: 日本語(Japanese)

RE: Grammar check?

Postby coco » Wed 03.08.2006 2:46 pm

What's wrong with 時間はない?

「時間ない」は「私には、(自由になる)時間がない」阜サなのだと思います。

「時間ない」と使うときは

・時間はないが、金ならある。(反意文の対比)
・オイ、そんなにのんびりしている時間はないぞ。
(『〜している暇はない』の用法、「○○している時間はない」と使われます)

などの用法が一般的で、

「今日(きょう)は、時間ないのでここで失礼します」という際に
「今日(きょう)は、時間ないのでここで失礼します」と阜サする
社会人は、少ないと思います。

時間はない? だったら他に何かあるの? という懸念を持たれてしまう
可柏ォがあるからだと思います。
coco
 
Posts: 3061
Joined: Mon 05.30.2005 12:43 am
Location: 東京都
Native language: 日本語(Japanese)

RE: Grammar check?

Postby Txkun » Wed 03.08.2006 6:22 pm

I thought you liked to use 性急に.

Exactly! I did a typo... sorry. But now I know a new verb form!

願うよ I wanted to say... to hope...like: "i hope Bill will go".
That will be using your costruction: Bill 行く こと が といい ?

Many thanks cocosan
User avatar
Txkun
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Fri 08.26.2005 3:17 am
Location: Rome
Native language: Italian
Gender: Male

RE: Grammar check?

Postby coco » Wed 03.08.2006 6:49 pm

どういたしまして^^
"i hope Bill will go". That will be using your costruction: Bill 行く こと が といい ?

Depends on the relationship of speaker and Bill, speaker
and listener, speaker's age and sex, where this phrase is used in.

・ビルが行きゃいいな。
・ビルが行ってくれるといいんだけど。(行ってくれればis also OKay)
・ビルが行ってくれるといいなぁ。
・ビルが行ってくれるといいのですが。
・ビルが行ってくれると有り難いのですが。
・私は、ビルさんが行って下さることを望んでいます。

*行ってくれると can replace 行ってくれれば 、行ってくれたら
Since I can not understand how different "wish ""hope" and "expect", I'm not sure.
waiting for others help.

Check up the verb 望む.
Last edited by coco on Wed 03.08.2006 11:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
coco
 
Posts: 3061
Joined: Mon 05.30.2005 12:43 am
Location: 東京都
Native language: 日本語(Japanese)

RE: Grammar check?

Postby seiryuu » Wed 03.08.2006 10:38 pm

AJBryant wrote:
Next, you want to say that you have no time, so change it to:
この頃時間がありません。


What's wrong with 時間はない?

Tony
Is it okay to use 時間じゃない?
seiryuu
 
Posts: 116
Joined: Wed 02.15.2006 6:21 pm

RE: Grammar check?

Postby keatonatron » Thu 03.09.2006 12:25 pm

No. じゃない and が/はない are completely different (as I explained in the 2nd reply of this thread).

私はお金持ちじゃない = I am not rich (i.e. "I" does not equal "rich")
お金はない = There is no money (i.e. "money" equals "not exisiting")

If you were to say something 時間じゃない that would mean that item "is not time". Since nothing can be time except time itself, this sentence would make no sense.
User avatar
keatonatron
 
Posts: 4838
Joined: Sat 02.04.2006 3:31 am
Location: Tokyo (Via Seattle)
Native language: English
Gender: Male

RE: Grammar check?

Postby Txkun » Sat 03.11.2006 6:06 am

諺(ことわざ)面白いですよ。あれが国の常識を見せると思う。
べつな文化で、時々諺も一寸変だよ、
例えば、「出る釘は打たれる」。
イタリアに同じ諺がありません。でも、「となりの芝生は青い」がちょうどありますよ!
本当にそうですよ!

Proverbs are interesting!
I think they show the common sense of a country.
Sometimes in different cultures there are strange proverbs.
For example "The nail which sticks out will get hammered".
In Italy there isn't a similar proverb. But, there is exactly "The grass is always greener on the other side".

Grammar wise this is simpler so I really hope I did this right. What do you think? I think べつな文化で, ... is wrong. It sounds little un-japanese. ;)
User avatar
Txkun
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Fri 08.26.2005 3:17 am
Location: Rome
Native language: Italian
Gender: Male

RE: Grammar check?

Postby richvh » Sat 03.11.2006 9:49 am

You left out が after 諺 in the first sentence. ちょっと should have been left in kana in the second.

In Space ALC I found the following entries:
# ある文化から他の文化へ伝播するうちに異なる
vary from one culture to another
# 異文化
different culture // distinct culture
Richard VanHouten
ゆきの物語
richvh
 
Posts: 6451
Joined: Thu 09.29.2005 10:35 pm


Return to 日本語の練習 (Practice Japanese)

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 5 guests