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Haiku

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RE: Haiku

Postby Txkun » Sat 04.15.2006 2:57 pm

Got this one:

暑い 水
心 を 洗う
無定形

atsui mizu
kokoro wo arau
muteikei

warm water
washing the heart,
shapeless

The first two lines just come up in my mind.
I was happy but sadly last line is bad.
It's the right concept I wanted to express but I had to pick up a word with chinese pronunciation and cocosan told me that it's not good for haiku... :(
Oh well... hope you like it anyway. :D

Bye!
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RE: Haiku

Postby AJBryant » Sat 04.15.2006 4:40 pm

My favorit Basho haiku of all time:

蚤虱 馬の尿する 枕もと(のみしらみ うまのばりする まくらもと)

Fleas and lice,
and a horse pissing
by my pillow.

Basho was such an artful guy. :)

Tony
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RE: Haiku

Postby Txkun » Sat 04.15.2006 4:59 pm

Thanks Tony!
That's a great haiku that (ohhh, I wonder why :D) I didn't ever see in any haiku book (mhh, well i read 2/3 so, not many...).

Anyway, some notes: http://www.wisdom-books.com/ProductExtract.asp?CatNumber=14807

Basho was such an artful guy. :)

eheh... being able to see beauty in a horse piss is art, isn't it? ;)
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RE: Haiku

Postby AJBryant » Sat 04.15.2006 5:58 pm

being able to see beauty in a horse piss is art, isn't it?


There are times when I'm afraid I'm doomed to be a Philistine. ;)

Tony
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RE: Haiku

Postby Charlie Brown » Sat 04.15.2006 6:00 pm

This is the only one I know

Since my house burened down
I now own a better view
of the rising moon
Masahide

I think the original was closer to

Barn's burnt down
now
I can see the moon
Masahide

Nice Haiku Txkun B)
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RE: Haiku

Postby coco » Sat 04.15.2006 7:17 pm

Tonyさんは、混ぜ返して遊んでますね。:D:D
吹き出しちゃったよ。

Fleas and lice,
and a horse pissing
by Tony's(your) pillow.

とも読めるところが俳句の妙味。
主語を抜くのは日本人の智恵ですねきっと。 ;)
−−−−−−
追加:Tonyさんの下のに回答。
あらあらをかし。其をこそ涎と人のいふらむ
 :D
Last edited by coco on Sat 04.15.2006 8:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Haiku

Postby AJBryant » Sat 04.15.2006 8:07 pm

とも読めるところが俳句の妙味。
主語を抜くのは日本人の智恵ですねきっと


ふむ。芭蕉は僕の枕を見たことがないのでそれはありえないでしょう。B)

cocoさんの枕も濡れていないかな。。。:o:D

Tony
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RE: Haiku

Postby Mukade » Sun 04.16.2006 2:47 am

coco wrote:
isn't it " Umi kurete kamono koe honokani shiroshi" ?
海暮れて 鴨の声 ほのかに 白し (うみくれて かものこえ ほのかに しろし)
季語は「鴨」で 冬の句 です。(野ざらし紀行)


私もpurple heartさんのバージョンを見たことない。それから、探したら、見つけられなかった。

でも、cocoさんのは当てるよ。
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RE: Haiku

Postby Charlie Brown » Wed 04.19.2006 2:55 am

桜、丁子
日本刀、謎めく
日本、目も綾

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RE: Haiku

Postby panz » Mon 05.15.2006 9:20 pm

is it rite if i use haiku in english? 5-7-5 rite?
i will be crazy
preparing for my study
and i will be happy ... (if i pass the exam :D)

how about the haiku in japanese?
かねがある
たのしみになる
いいですね。

金がある
楽しみになる
いいですね。

is it rite?
i love this site ^_^
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RE: Haiku

Postby coco » Tue 05.16.2006 5:42 pm

I suppose that kind of poem(?) is rather called 川柳 Senryu(u).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Senry%C5%AB

Although I don't know if you like these or not, let me introduce the top 5 サラリーマン 川柳 of this year. ( Hope someone translate these. :) )

1) 「昼食は、妻がセレブで おれセルフ」
2) 「年金は、いらない人が 制度決め」
3) 「ウォームビズ ふところ 常に クールビズ」
4) 「二歳だろ トロ ウニ 食わず 卵食え」
5) 「妻の口 マナーモードに 切りかえたい」

サラリーマン=salary man = corporate employee // office worker
上の方の、英語と日本語の川柳って意味同じもの? ?
Last edited by coco on Tue 05.16.2006 5:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Haiku

Postby Sachi » Tue 05.16.2006 5:48 pm

panz wrote:
かねがある
たのしみになる
いいですね。

金がある
楽しみになる
いいですね。

is it rite?


Were you trying to write...

"There is money
Fun to make
It is good"

....or something similar? Anyways, the only thing I can see is that shouldn't 楽し be 楽しい?
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RE: Haiku

Postby coco » Tue 05.16.2006 5:53 pm

あ さっちゃん。 その訳とってもいいですね。B)

楽しみ
agrement // amenity // amusement // comfort // delight //enjoyment //entertainment // fun // pleasure

楽しみになる ≒ it will be 楽しみ
楽しみにるなる This is going to be fun. (?)
Last edited by coco on Tue 05.16.2006 6:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Haiku

Postby Gan » Tue 05.16.2006 7:20 pm

entenka
itami no kokoro
kanashimi ne.

what i was trying to say?

Under the blazing sun
A heart of pain
It's sad, isnt it?
-------------------------

and

yowai ai
shizuka na yami da
a~ sou da ne..

Tender love
It's a quiet darkness
AH, it sure is.
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RE: Haiku

Postby coco » Sun 08.13.2006 10:22 am

(北半球は)夏ですねー。:)
残暑お見舞い垂オ上げます。
では夏でふたつ。
--
追憶の花火流せぬ 大雷雨
傘の花 浴衣の裾をはためかす
--
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