Japaneses don't date

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Diana
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Japaneses don't date

Post by Diana » Mon 08.14.2006 4:18 pm

Most people say this to me and time from time I get more scared! A closed friend here said they just go out for dinner, to game arcade etc get laid and both go home. But at the most beginning!

I mean, I just got flirted by a guy, and if I show some interest that means I'm available to get laid ?! Nothing to do with get to know each other better etc. It's all just like that?

There's no quick fling or real stuff, it's all quick fling. It's all go-to-arcade-go-to-dinner-go-to-motel-then cya next week or not. They don't care each other at all.


Am I being too rude? I can't believe such polite and fine guys are STILL so tsumetai...Should I quite my hopes on japanese man as my mother did?

Please, japanese guys and girls tell me what you think. This is a distort image or not.
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Ongakuka
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RE: Japaneses don't date

Post by Ongakuka » Mon 08.14.2006 4:45 pm

Don't you think that's kinda generalising

Once my friend told me that Japanese people are all monsters who kill whales and dolphins for pleasure. I wouldn't think too much of that, even if I was a member of the RSPCA... because the statement is false.
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Shibakoen
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RE: Japaneses don't date

Post by Shibakoen » Mon 08.14.2006 5:36 pm

gokon = kinda like a group date thing, if i'm not mistaken. I can see how it would be difficult for working people to meet someone, but high school students seem to have a normal dating life (at least those of my students). Valentines' Day and White Day were always popular.
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AJBryant
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RE: Japaneses don't date

Post by AJBryant » Mon 08.14.2006 6:02 pm

Well, when I was in Japan, this one girl I had to date and date and date before.. um.... well, we dated for a long time. :)

Tony

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RE: Japaneses don't date

Post by KNH » Mon 08.14.2006 6:31 pm

Aye (continuing today's pirate theme), I agree with Ongakuka on this one. I think you're generalizing a bit. You find aholes everywhere. Finding a guy who's worth your time is certainly a challenging task.

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Diana
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RE: Japaneses don't date

Post by Diana » Mon 08.14.2006 8:12 pm

A real fact: my tantousha has a bride, most people where I work know her. And he has a girfriend there!

Once I asked to my chief, how it can be?! He just said Ah japanese doesn't mind. After married, most of them live together like strangers. Since the husband is paying nice for the married life, it's all ok. He can go out and she can spend his money away.
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AJBryant
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RE: Japaneses don't date

Post by AJBryant » Mon 08.14.2006 8:26 pm

Tsk.


Tony

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Ezrach
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RE: Japaneses don't date

Post by Ezrach » Mon 08.14.2006 9:00 pm

Overall, through personal experience, I've noticed that Japanese are less romantic than their Western counterparts, or even their Korean counterparts for that matter. My wife (she's Korean) and I talk about it all the time. We've both lived in Japan for years, and there just seems to be less romance in Japanese relationships than we were used to back home.

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billy-jay
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RE: Japaneses don't date

Post by billy-jay » Mon 08.14.2006 11:04 pm

Diana wrote:
A real fact: my tantousha has a bride, most people where I work know her. And he has a girfriend there!

Once I asked to my chief, how it can be?! He just said Ah japanese doesn't mind. After married, most of them live together like strangers. Since the husband is paying nice for the married life, it's all ok. He can go out and she can spend his money away.





Some of them mind very much.

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aoisatomi
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RE: Japaneses don't date

Post by aoisatomi » Mon 08.14.2006 11:49 pm

If I might add a comment...it doesn't sound too much different than in the US. Do a bunch of stuff...then sleep with the person....ooohh I'M GENERALIZING.. Look, it happens everywhere....there are @#!%^#@ @$$holes everywhere.

Anyways...As for my experiences...I have known many Japanese people to be quite romantic...they are just not so..er..blatent and upfront with it. I think it goes back to where kissing in public was like "OH MY GOD!" there. They still have kinda that reaction, and not just towards kissing.

In fact, I have stayed with many a friend there and they had very nice relationships at their homes. For example, one family in particular....the husband and wife are sooo sweet. (And they had been married for 20+ years too). The husband is so proper and kind. Very good guy.

In short...I think that whoever told you that info had probably only seen the ...less pleasent side of relationships in Japan. So....I'd say....don't judge and keep looking if you really wanna find a Japanese guy. They exist. The ones you (i hope) are looking for take a lot more work to find. Think of it like extracting a diamond from coal. ^_^

~Satomi

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chikara
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RE: Japaneses don't date

Post by chikara » Tue 08.15.2006 1:16 am

aoisatomi wrote:....In fact, I have stayed with many a friend there and they had very nice relationships at their homes. For example, one family in particular....the husband and wife are sooo sweet. (And they had been married for 20+ years too).......
:o 20+ years and they still show affection for each other :o

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RE: Japaneses don't date

Post by shin1ro » Tue 08.15.2006 5:16 am

Your tantousha is a bad guy... I believe most Japanese men are not like him.
I guess he is a type who wants to be seen as a playboy because most people there know... But I strongly doubt if his bride knows. I can't understand his values and moral.
Please don't generalize us Japanese by the tantousha and chief (maybe joking?)! Most Japanese collegues will surely share your feeling, especially women.

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RE: Japaneses don't date

Post by keatonatron » Tue 08.15.2006 7:45 am

Diana wrote:
...they just go out for dinner, to game arcade etc get laid and both go home.
I mean, I just got flirted by a guy, and if I show some interest that means I'm available to get laid ?! Nothing to do with get to know each other better etc. It's all just like that?

There's no quick fling or real stuff, it's all quick fling. It's all go-to-arcade-go-to-dinner-go-to-motel-then cya next week or not. They don't care each other at all.


If they were all like, why would anyone get married? How would children be born?? Every one of my Japanese friends have two loving parents who are very much involved in each others' and their children's lives. Yes, there are some people who are only interested in sex, but there are people like that EVERYWHERE.

Reading your post about "all" of "them" only wanting to get laid was really disturbing. :o

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RE: Japaneses don't date

Post by coco » Tue 08.15.2006 8:45 am

Is your Chief a same personas "Chief" in this thread?

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Infidel
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RE: Japaneses don't date

Post by Infidel » Tue 08.15.2006 9:28 am

also remember birds of a feather flock together. If the people in your crowd act that way, maybe you've been hanging with the wrong people.
なるほど。
さっぱりわからん。

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