Learn Japanese with JapanesePod101.com

View topic - Japaneses don't date

Japaneses don't date

Post questions and answers about living or visiting Japan or the culture

Japaneses don't date

Postby Diana » Mon 08.14.2006 4:18 pm

Most people say this to me and time from time I get more scared! A closed friend here said they just go out for dinner, to game arcade etc get laid and both go home. But at the most beginning!

I mean, I just got flirted by a guy, and if I show some interest that means I'm available to get laid ?! Nothing to do with get to know each other better etc. It's all just like that?

There's no quick fling or real stuff, it's all quick fling. It's all go-to-arcade-go-to-dinner-go-to-motel-then cya next week or not. They don't care each other at all.


Am I being too rude? I can't believe such polite and fine guys are STILL so tsumetai...Should I quite my hopes on japanese man as my mother did?

Please, japanese guys and girls tell me what you think. This is a distort image or not.
I slip, I slid I don't know why I hide
User avatar
Diana
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Sun 05.21.2006 3:14 pm

RE: Japaneses don't date

Postby Ongakuka » Mon 08.14.2006 4:45 pm

Don't you think that's kinda generalising

Once my friend told me that Japanese people are all monsters who kill whales and dolphins for pleasure. I wouldn't think too much of that, even if I was a member of the RSPCA... because the statement is false.
なぜなら、おまえは・・・・・・人形だ
User avatar
Ongakuka
 
Posts: 979
Joined: Mon 09.26.2005 1:07 pm

RE: Japaneses don't date

Postby Shibakoen » Mon 08.14.2006 5:36 pm

gokon = kinda like a group date thing, if i'm not mistaken. I can see how it would be difficult for working people to meet someone, but high school students seem to have a normal dating life (at least those of my students). Valentines' Day and White Day were always popular.
Image
User avatar
Shibakoen
 
Posts: 696
Joined: Mon 03.28.2005 5:17 pm

RE: Japaneses don't date

Postby AJBryant » Mon 08.14.2006 6:02 pm

Well, when I was in Japan, this one girl I had to date and date and date before.. um.... well, we dated for a long time. :)

Tony
User avatar
AJBryant
Site Admin
 
Posts: 5313
Joined: Sun 10.09.2005 11:29 am
Location: Indiana
Native language: English
Gender: Male

RE: Japaneses don't date

Postby KNH » Mon 08.14.2006 6:31 pm

Aye (continuing today's pirate theme), I agree with Ongakuka on this one. I think you're generalizing a bit. You find aholes everywhere. Finding a guy who's worth your time is certainly a challenging task.
KNH
 
Posts: 230
Joined: Sun 08.06.2006 11:12 am

RE: Japaneses don't date

Postby Diana » Mon 08.14.2006 8:12 pm

A real fact: my tantousha has a bride, most people where I work know her. And he has a girfriend there!

Once I asked to my chief, how it can be?! He just said Ah japanese doesn't mind. After married, most of them live together like strangers. Since the husband is paying nice for the married life, it's all ok. He can go out and she can spend his money away.
I slip, I slid I don't know why I hide
User avatar
Diana
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Sun 05.21.2006 3:14 pm

RE: Japaneses don't date

Postby AJBryant » Mon 08.14.2006 8:26 pm

Tsk.


Tony
User avatar
AJBryant
Site Admin
 
Posts: 5313
Joined: Sun 10.09.2005 11:29 am
Location: Indiana
Native language: English
Gender: Male

RE: Japaneses don't date

Postby Ezrach » Mon 08.14.2006 9:00 pm

Overall, through personal experience, I've noticed that Japanese are less romantic than their Western counterparts, or even their Korean counterparts for that matter. My wife (she's Korean) and I talk about it all the time. We've both lived in Japan for years, and there just seems to be less romance in Japanese relationships than we were used to back home.
User avatar
Ezrach
 
Posts: 270
Joined: Tue 07.18.2006 12:05 am

RE: Japaneses don't date

Postby billy-jay » Mon 08.14.2006 11:04 pm

Diana wrote:
A real fact: my tantousha has a bride, most people where I work know her. And he has a girfriend there!

Once I asked to my chief, how it can be?! He just said Ah japanese doesn't mind. After married, most of them live together like strangers. Since the husband is paying nice for the married life, it's all ok. He can go out and she can spend his money away.





Some of them mind very much.
User avatar
billy-jay
 
Posts: 152
Joined: Wed 05.31.2006 11:03 am

RE: Japaneses don't date

Postby aoisatomi » Mon 08.14.2006 11:49 pm

If I might add a comment...it doesn't sound too much different than in the US. Do a bunch of stuff...then sleep with the person....ooohh I'M GENERALIZING.. Look, it happens everywhere....there are @#!%^#@ @$$holes everywhere.

Anyways...As for my experiences...I have known many Japanese people to be quite romantic...they are just not so..er..blatent and upfront with it. I think it goes back to where kissing in public was like "OH MY GOD!" there. They still have kinda that reaction, and not just towards kissing.

In fact, I have stayed with many a friend there and they had very nice relationships at their homes. For example, one family in particular....the husband and wife are sooo sweet. (And they had been married for 20+ years too). The husband is so proper and kind. Very good guy.

In short...I think that whoever told you that info had probably only seen the ...less pleasent side of relationships in Japan. So....I'd say....don't judge and keep looking if you really wanna find a Japanese guy. They exist. The ones you (i hope) are looking for take a lot more work to find. Think of it like extracting a diamond from coal. ^_^

~Satomi
User avatar
aoisatomi
 
Posts: 67
Joined: Sun 04.09.2006 1:35 am

RE: Japaneses don't date

Postby chikara » Tue 08.15.2006 1:16 am

aoisatomi wrote:....In fact, I have stayed with many a friend there and they had very nice relationships at their homes. For example, one family in particular....the husband and wife are sooo sweet. (And they had been married for 20+ years too).......
:o 20+ years and they still show affection for each other :o

Will wonders never cease ;)
Don't complain to me that people kick you when you're down. It's your own fault for lying there
User avatar
chikara
 
Posts: 3576
Joined: Tue 07.11.2006 10:48 pm
Location: Australia (SA)
Native language: English (Australian)
Gender: Male

RE: Japaneses don't date

Postby shin1ro » Tue 08.15.2006 5:16 am

Your tantousha is a bad guy... I believe most Japanese men are not like him.
I guess he is a type who wants to be seen as a playboy because most people there know... But I strongly doubt if his bride knows. I can't understand his values and moral.
Please don't generalize us Japanese by the tantousha and chief (maybe joking?)! Most Japanese collegues will surely share your feeling, especially women.
User avatar
shin1ro
 
Posts: 496
Joined: Fri 07.21.2006 10:37 pm
Location: Shijonawate
Native language: Japanese
Gender: Male

RE: Japaneses don't date

Postby keatonatron » Tue 08.15.2006 7:45 am

Diana wrote:
...they just go out for dinner, to game arcade etc get laid and both go home.
I mean, I just got flirted by a guy, and if I show some interest that means I'm available to get laid ?! Nothing to do with get to know each other better etc. It's all just like that?

There's no quick fling or real stuff, it's all quick fling. It's all go-to-arcade-go-to-dinner-go-to-motel-then cya next week or not. They don't care each other at all.


If they were all like, why would anyone get married? How would children be born?? Every one of my Japanese friends have two loving parents who are very much involved in each others' and their children's lives. Yes, there are some people who are only interested in sex, but there are people like that EVERYWHERE.

Reading your post about "all" of "them" only wanting to get laid was really disturbing. :o
User avatar
keatonatron
 
Posts: 4838
Joined: Sat 02.04.2006 3:31 am
Location: Tokyo (Via Seattle)
Native language: English
Gender: Male

RE: Japaneses don't date

Postby coco » Tue 08.15.2006 8:45 am

Is your Chief a same personas "Chief" in this thread?
coco
 
Posts: 3061
Joined: Mon 05.30.2005 12:43 am
Location: 東京都
Native language: 日本語(Japanese)

RE: Japaneses don't date

Postby Infidel » Tue 08.15.2006 9:28 am

also remember birds of a feather flock together. If the people in your crowd act that way, maybe you've been hanging with the wrong people.
なるほど。
さっぱりわからん。
User avatar
Infidel
 
Posts: 3093
Joined: Sun 10.09.2005 1:12 am
Native language: 英語

Next

Return to Culture and Info about living in Japan

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests