Japaneses don't date

[two_heads_talking]

Diana wrote:
A real fact: my tantousha has a bride, most people where I work know her. And he has a girfriend there!

Once I asked to my chief, how it can be?! He just said Ah japanese doesn't mind. After married, most of them live together like strangers. Since the husband is paying nice for the married life, it's all ok. He can go out and she can spend his money away.

this is a pretty old fashioned way of thinking.. there was teh general husband is at a business meeting (being payed attention to by bought girls) but today that will get the husband kicked to the curb.. with western trends like divorce showing up, the women in japan don't play so much the traditional roll and will roll the husband out the door if he isn't faithful..

besides there is also the old fashioned.. my husband is gone for a business meeting and has his girl in waiting.. the wife too had a friend in waiting as well.. again, old fashioned..

[aoisatomi]

*sigh* This is one of the reasons I never want to get married or even date a person. Why does such questions, doubts, and circumstances even have to exist? Okay...I can see what people are saying about the whole wanting to be married for the benefits thing....but then why go after different people? ESPECIALLY, people you don't care about?! AND, if you wanted to be with someone more appealling to you and still want marriage "benefits"...why not marry that person? I don't understand people...

I know not all people are this way...but...society is just so disgusting. And I'm not just discriminating against guys...women are just as bad....I say...let's not trust either! j/k

[xenocide7]

hi,

I saw your topic and thought id respond,
first off let me say NO,NO,NO,NO,NO! That is not what dateing is always like , while there are some people like that do only "go out on a date " just to have sex , I and many other people find this morally wrong (not to mention the std's one can get )and discourage it , a date should just be getting to know someone better , likes dislikes, etc... it is common for the man to take the lady out to eat and maby for some recreation , for example put-put golf , the arcade , etc....,

on a further note if you "go out " with someone i would implore you not to have sex with them and if they insinuate that thats what there there for dump them quick and get some one who not only loves your body but who you really are.
make shure beforegoing out on a date that the person has the same morals as you do , and if you have any question about there morals straighten them out before you go on a date , furthermore dateing is a steping stone to marrage i reccomend you date only those you wouldent ming actually marrieing in the future , IT DOSENT MEN YOU HAVE TO BUT IN MY OPPINION THATS WHAT DATEING IS ALL ABOUT

Yes, i am a christian and believe sex before marrage is wrong ,
and sex with anyone other than your spouse is wrong

[Diana]

The japanese society is quite a mix of traditionalism and the western way of life...

Once I read at http://www.crisscross.com about a couple, married around 20 years and still had no children, just cos they never had sex. The news were alerting about the young/children decreasing in japanese society, becoming a "elderly society".

No one in Japan want marry anymore, too expensive. The society are progressing so much no one have interests once the woman and man had each other apart the banal interest.

Well...I just think about how difficult are the relationships. I mean, what live for if you can't trust anyone... I've been raised thru many japanese beliefs from my mother, some of them I've never knew why although.

[LaughingMan]

Here's an interesting article: http://www.usatoday.com/usatonline/20040603/6255200s.htm

Apparently, Japan is facing a social issue with its youth, who are getting into less and less relationships because they don't want a "complicated life." Single women in their 30s now live with their parents, and men - both teenagers and older men - are more commonly isolating themselves in their rooms, away from society.

[Ezrach]

LaughingMan wrote:
Here's an interesting article: http://www.usatoday.com/usatonline/20040603/6255200s.htm

Apparently, Japan is facing a social issue with its youth, who are getting into less and less relationships because they don't want a "complicated life." Single women in their 30s now live with their parents, and men - both teenagers and older men - are more commonly isolating themselves in their rooms, away from society.

It's not a new issue. It's called "parasite singles".

[kanadajin]

Well, when I was in Japan, this one girl I had to date and date and date before.. um.... well, we dated for a long time.

LMAO

[Hatori]

Ongakuka wrote:Once my friend told me that Japanese people are all monsters who kill whales and dolphins for pleasure. I wouldn't think too much of that, even if I was a member of the RSPCA... because the statement is false.

AHHAHHA! that made me laugh really hard!!

well, anyways, i've read that Japanese don't date that much. it's just something they don't do very much of. anyways, i don't think that somebody would go out with you and right away have sex.

[aoisatomi]

In response to Xenocide7-san's comment, I am Christian too...but I don't think sex before marriage is necessarily bad...as long as it is one's true flame....most unfortunately, people don't seem to have a sense of who is, who isn't ...or what love is frankly. Let's just face it...we live in a love-dumb world of morons....*ahem* gomen. ANYWAYS, so then, yes...i agree with marriage before sex because at least you have a better chance of that person not just *poof* going away. (although I've seen it.....) yeah...and std's, hiv, and all that jazz.

I know Japanese people go on just regular dates! If it's less frequent, that's a different thing. The Japanese people are just more reserved with there feelings and emotions. Something I find honorable..and sad...about the culture. (Although...it is sorta changing.)

In response to LaughingMan-san's comment, ...yeah...I'm one of them W. j/k Hontou ni, I am not 30...but...when I'm 30...I'll be like that, only I won't live with my parents. I'll be the hermit-style bachlerette. I can TOTALLY understand not wanting to get involved in anything. Seen toooooooo much ....uh.... disgrace to the name of love and marriage to even want to put my toe in the door.

As for Diana-san's comment, I think that's horrible people don't want to get married because "it's too expensive". Love does NOT have a sticker price. Therefore, if they truly loved each other...it wouldn't matter. Yes, it might mean a struggle at first, but that's what being married is about. That happens. But, oh well. I guess it just shows you who really is in love and who's not. Like I said...love-dumb world.

BUT, for those of you who are going to look for a relationship in Japan. I don't want you to stop from some sort of fear relating to this topic. They're there. You just have to look. I can't guarantee anything of course..W...but, if you need an example, why not just look at Clay-san?

[spin13]

aoisatomi wrote:
*sigh* This is one of the reasons I never want to get married or even date a person. Why does such questions, doubts, and circumstances even have to exist? Okay...I can see what people are saying about the whole wanting to be married for the benefits thing....but then why go after different people? ESPECIALLY, people you don't care about?! AND, if you wanted to be with someone more appealling to you and still want marriage "benefits"...why not marry that person? I don't understand people...

I know not all people are this way...but...society is just so disgusting. And I'm not just discriminating against guys...women are just as bad....I say...let's not trust either! j/k

Reality is not a choice, the way you deal with it is.

Choose marriage or don't. Seek what you find truth in. Stop worrying about what other people are doing.

-Eric

[CuriousDrew]

Amen to that spin13