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Adoption?

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Adoption?

Postby MWybiral » Sun 10.29.2006 6:45 pm

I hope this is the right place to post a thread about this...

My husband and I are hoping to adopt a baby in a few years, and we were wondering if it was possible to adopt from Japan. I could find very little information pertaining to it while searching online, just that family ties are quite important in Japanese culture, and that it may prevent an adoption from going through fully. I was hoping someone on this site might know a little about this. Can anyone help?

Will we be able to adopt at all, and if so, does the birth family have to right to reclaim the child?
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RE: Adoption?

Postby Schattenjedi » Sun 10.29.2006 7:35 pm

If you're going to adopt, then adopt a child that shares the same language and culture as you do. Robbing the child of the culture and language they were born into is like taking away half of their soul.
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RE: Adoption?

Postby Mike Cash » Sun 10.29.2006 7:47 pm

Schattenjedi wrote:
If you're going to adopt, then adopt a child that shares the same language and culture as you do. Robbing the child of the culture and language they were born into is like taking away half of their soul.


I think they have probably given that more thought than you gave to the distinction between "baby" and "child".

OP:

It isn't impossible, but try to keep in mind that Japan isn't some poor underdeveloped backwater third-world country such as people usually visit to rescue babies from.

What's wrong with adopting a child right there in your own country?
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RE: Adoption?

Postby Schattenjedi » Sun 10.29.2006 8:10 pm

Mike Cash wrote:
Schattenjedi wrote:
If you're going to adopt, then adopt a child that shares the same language and culture as you do. Robbing the child of the culture and language they were born into is like taking away half of their soul.


I think they have probably given that more thought than you gave to the distinction between "baby" and "child".


Questionable. In my family, an otherwise intelligent husband and wife adopted a Korean baby and had the bright idea of completely shielding him from the Korean culture. Not suprisingly, he grew up with a lack of self-confidence and a feeling of not belonging. Even if the parents do decide to make an effort to introduce the Japanese culture and language to their child, it would be really difficult...but not impossible I suppose.
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RE: Adoption?

Postby Oyaji » Sun 10.29.2006 8:54 pm

Following up on Mike's comments, the attitude you are likely to face in Japan is: "We can take of our own children. We don't need foreigners to come and rescue them."

Just out of curiosity, what made you think of adopting from Japan?
Last edited by Oyaji on Sun 10.29.2006 9:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Adoption?

Postby Oracle » Sun 10.29.2006 9:16 pm

I might also add that there is generally a bit of stigma attached to adoption in Japanese society, so the number of kids in orphanages who get adopted by anyone, Japanese or foreign, is quite low.
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RE: Adoption?

Postby Mike Cash » Sun 10.29.2006 9:20 pm

And a number of the orphans in orphanages aren't even orphans...just wards of the state whose POS parents retain parental rights.
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RE: Adoption?

Postby keatonatron » Mon 10.30.2006 1:15 am

I know it's possible--the first time I visited Japan, on the flight home there was an American lesbian couple that had just adopted a Japanese child.

Although, now that everyone is freaking out about the declining birth rate, I could really see them feeling uneasy about the idea of people taking the kids out of the country. As if the lack of young people isn't bad enough already....
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RE: Adoption?

Postby Dehitay » Mon 10.30.2006 11:56 am

Japan's lacking youths? I'm sure China would be willing to give some up.

But I have to ask as well, "Why adopt from Japan?". I would think if you want to adopt from a different country, you would adopt from a place that is having a more difficult time so you could make the difference in the infant's life. If you want a southeast Asian baby, China is trying to control their population and wouldn't mind at all.

Questionable. In my family, an otherwise intelligent husband and wife adopted a Korean baby and had the bright idea of completely shielding him from the Korean culture. Not suprisingly, he grew up with a lack of self-confidence and a feeling of not belonging. Even if the parents do decide to make an effort to introduce the Japanese culture and language to their child, it would be really difficult...but not impossible I suppose.

I'm not sure where you live or where the OP lives, but in the US, that's really not a problem. There's a great deal of diversity here. Sure, there comes a point in most children's life where they want to learn more about their heritage, but if you let them research on it on their own, they tend to quickly get bored of it (or maybe that was just me since my heritage is an annoying mix of British, German, Mexican, Cherokee, Mayan, Spanish, Irish, and Italian).
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RE: Adoption?

Postby firescorpy » Mon 10.30.2006 1:35 pm

keatonatron wrote:
I know it's possible--the first time I visited Japan, on the flight home there was an American lesbian couple that had just adopted a Japanese child.

Although, now that everyone is freaking out about the declining birth rate, I could really see them feeling uneasy about the idea of people taking the kids out of the country. As if the lack of young people isn't bad enough already....


Keatonatron is right.. there is not enough kids in Japan already. Why not just go and adopt some Chinese baby? There is plenty of them and you can even help one out of poverty!
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RE: Adoption?

Postby two_heads_talking » Mon 10.30.2006 1:53 pm

I love how a person will ask a question.. And rather than just answer the question we go into our feelings on the subject.. Take your personal greivances out of the equation and either answer the question or don't..

that's how we get on political, religious, etc rants anyways..

To answer the OP question, From my understanding, adopting from Japan is difficult to near impossible. Look into your options and see how it works out.. :o :D
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RE: Adoption?

Postby Mike Cash » Mon 10.30.2006 3:05 pm

My wife (Japanese) and I tried it a dozen or so years ago and were refused. Why? Because my wife, despite 7 years of trying for a child, seemingly bleak prospects for pregnancy, and rapidly approaching 40 had not yet been actually diagnosed as hopeless . We indicated that during the year or two expected waiting period to adopt we would continue to attempt to get pregnant. Apparently the adoption agency took that as some sort of personal insult and killed the adoption process.
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RE: Adoption?

Postby keatonatron » Tue 10.31.2006 12:41 am

Dehitay wrote:
I'm sure China would be willing to give some up.


I'm positive there's a least a few Chinese parents who feel they messed up with their one allotted child and are willing to give it up to try their chances with a second. ;)
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RE: Adoption?

Postby Dehitay » Tue 10.31.2006 11:42 am

keatonatron wrote:
Dehitay wrote:
I'm sure China would be willing to give some up.


I'm positive there's a least a few Chinese parents who feel they messed up with their one allotted child and are willing to give it up to try their chances with a second. ;)


Actually, I figured out that Chinese parents are actually allowed 1 boy and 1 girl. But when they get 2 girls in a row, they have to give up one or pay a fine in order to keep that child, which is why it's thought you can only have 1. Then again, things might have changed since I talked to that one Chinese woman.
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RE: Adoption?

Postby Nibble » Tue 10.31.2006 12:20 pm

The rules for determining how many children a couple is allowed to have are fairly complicated; but most Han Chinese living in urban areas are limited to one child per couple, unless the first child is female or disabled. It's unlikely that they would have a rule against having two girls, given that China is currently suffering from a serious gender ratio problem.
Last edited by Nibble on Tue 10.31.2006 12:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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