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my first piece of writing :S :S

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my first piece of writing :S :S

Postby tzuzuki » Wed 07.13.2005 2:46 pm

I've been learning Japanese on my own for a couple of months now although I don't get to spend very much time on it. This is my first attempt at a longer piece of writing, so please could you point out any mistakes I have made. Thanks,

今日は、

私は(my name)です。イギリス人
です、高校生です。私はイギリスに住んでいます、の近くにロンドン。高校お楽しむ、僕のいちばん好きな学課は英語と音楽。ピアノとクラリネットを弾く。僕のいちばん好きなテレビ番組は「Friends」、僕も「Big Brother」好き。僕のいちばん好きなアニメは「グラビテーション」。

左様なら、
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RE: my first piece of writing :S :S

Postby Gaijinian » Wed 07.13.2005 4:40 pm

こんにちは、
   私は(NAME)です。イギリスの高校生です。ロンドンの近く住んでいます。高校は楽しくて、いちばん好きな授業(じゅぎょう)は英語と音楽です。ピアノとクラリネットが弾けます。
   いちばん好きな番組は「Friends」で、「Big Brother」も好きです。いちばん好きなアニメは「Gravatation」といいます。

Note that you do not need to keep writing Boku/Watashi.
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RE: my first piece of writing :S :S

Postby Harisenbon » Wed 07.13.2005 6:32 pm

A couple more clarifications

More than 授業, 教科(きょうか) would be better, because you're talking about a subject, not a single class.

you can't 弾く a clarinet, so you say ピアノを弾いて、クラリネットを吹きます。(ふきます)

If you want to put them together, 練習(れんしゅう) would probably be better.
Last edited by Harisenbon on Wed 07.13.2005 6:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: my first piece of writing :S :S

Postby Gaijinian » Wed 07.13.2005 8:28 pm

QUOTE: you can't 弾く a clarinet

Oh yeah...:DMy bad.

Maybe:
ピアノが弾いたりクラリネットが吹いたりできます...?
Last edited by Gaijinian on Wed 07.13.2005 8:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: my first piece of writing :S :S

Postby Harisenbon » Wed 07.13.2005 9:22 pm

出来ますっていのはちょっと自慢が高い気がすると覆う。練習は一番いいと思うけど。。分からん。。二主語が有る文章は僕の弱点だ。;)

「ピアノとクラリネットを練習します。」
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RE: my first piece of writing :S :S

Postby tzuzuki » Thu 07.14.2005 8:57 am

Thanks, I just wondered why you changed ""イギリス人です、高校生です。"" to ""イギリスの高校生です". That bit confused me.
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RE: my first piece of writing :S :S

Postby Harisenbon » Thu 07.14.2005 9:02 pm

It's makes your sentences sound more adult. Only 5 year olds (and me, because it's really cute!) say their introduction as small separate sentences.

キースです!
5才です!
一年生です!
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RE: my first piece of writing :S :S

Postby tzuzuki » Fri 07.15.2005 2:30 pm

ahhhh, I see. Well whatever, it was still grammatically correct (no?), meh. GO KAWAIINESS!!
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