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First attempt to write with all three scripts

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First attempt to write with all three scripts

Postby angstycoder » Sat 01.20.2007 4:52 pm

I copied some romaji dialogues into kana/kanji.

Is it legible? Any pointers? If it's gramatically wrong, blame the book ;)

Thanks so much!

[picture below may take a while to load...]

normal size
ginormous

Edit: switched to links; img tag times out.
Last edited by angstycoder on Sat 01.20.2007 4:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
angstycoder: "指の臨死体験"
kagemaru: ? ? ?
angstycoder: "I meant finger has near death experience"
kagemaru "doesn't work. You said 'Finger of near death experience'"
angstycoder: "Did I mention I don't know grammar?"
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RE: First attempt to write with all three scripts

Postby Apache Dawn » Sat 01.20.2007 5:01 pm

It is pretty good, but you cut out a little on the top of the す's and the は's and others like it. It looks a little better than mine actually.
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RE: First attempt to write with all three scripts

Postby angstycoder » Sat 01.20.2007 5:04 pm

Apache Dawn wrote:
It is pretty good, but you cut out a little on the top of the す's and the は's and others like it. It looks a little better than mine actually.


Thanks for the feedback. I didn't ever notice there was something above the crossbar.

Thank You!
angstycoder: "指の臨死体験"
kagemaru: ? ? ?
angstycoder: "I meant finger has near death experience"
kagemaru "doesn't work. You said 'Finger of near death experience'"
angstycoder: "Did I mention I don't know grammar?"
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RE: First attempt to write with all three scripts

Postby Yudan Taiteki » Sat 01.20.2007 5:28 pm

That's overall good; I don't think a native speaker would run into too many problems reading that.

Here's all the comments I have:
1. As Apache Dawn said, the す and は have parts cut off, as well as ま.
2. じゃ takes two spaces, not one (that goes for any of the small kana).
3. Your そ characters are a bit hard to interpret -- make sure you're looking at large diagrams that show the handwritten (not printed) style of the characters, and that indicate stroke order. The best one is your top character of the fifth line (although that should be そうですか)
4. さ should be handwritten as three strokes with a break in the middle (き as well).
5. The first stroke of か should be more curved (less angular, don't write it like the katakana カ)
6. You should use circles like this 。 at the ends of sentences, for instance いらっしゃいませ。メニューをどうぞ。
-Chris Kern
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RE: First attempt to write with all three scripts

Postby anikaliki » Sat 01.20.2007 6:02 pm

wow, I can actually read that.
Finally!
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RE: First attempt to write with all three scripts

Postby tanuki » Sat 01.20.2007 6:59 pm

Nice. :)

Be sure not to mix up hiragana and katakana (you wrote ウエートレす).

Your quotation marks (or whatever they're called) are the other way around. They should look like in the picture.

Image
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RE: First attempt to write with all three scripts

Postby angstycoder » Sat 01.20.2007 8:28 pm

Yudan Taiteki wrote:
2. じゃ takes two spaces, not one (that goes for any of the small kana).
3. Your そ characters are a bit hard to interpret -- make sure you're looking at large diagrams that show the handwritten (not printed) style of the characters, and that indicate stroke order. The best one is your top character of the fifth line (although that should be そうですか)
4. さ should be handwritten as three strokes with a break in the middle (き as well).
5. The first stroke of か should be more curved (less angular, don't write it like the katakana カ)
6. You should use circles like this 。 at the ends of sentences, for instance いらっしゃいませ。メニューをどうぞ。


2. I was wondering about that. I hadn't seen an examples of those in vertical writing
3. I keep changing my そ aroundto look better. That was a new one for me to look more like in my book. This one actually looks really blocky to me (meaning in this font).
4. Duly noted. I actually used to make them very separated, but everything except the book I learned from shows them in what appeared to me to be one break-free piece.
5. Got it.
6. Got it. I didn't think they were necessary, which is why I omitted.

Thanks so much for your feedback!
Last edited by angstycoder on Sat 01.20.2007 8:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
angstycoder: "指の臨死体験"
kagemaru: ? ? ?
angstycoder: "I meant finger has near death experience"
kagemaru "doesn't work. You said 'Finger of near death experience'"
angstycoder: "Did I mention I don't know grammar?"
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RE: First attempt to write with all three scripts

Postby angstycoder » Sat 01.20.2007 8:30 pm

tanuki wrote:
Nice. :)

Be sure not to mix up hiragana and katakana (you wrote ウエートレす).

Your quotation marks (or whatever they're called) are the other way around. They should look like in the picture.

Image


I wasn't paying attention at all and accidentally wrote waitress or whatever it was. I had been omitting the speaker's name/position since I could fit each piece of dialogue on one line. Good to know on the quotes in vertical writing, though; definitely wasn't aware of the proper orientation!

Thank You!
angstycoder: "指の臨死体験"
kagemaru: ? ? ?
angstycoder: "I meant finger has near death experience"
kagemaru "doesn't work. You said 'Finger of near death experience'"
angstycoder: "Did I mention I don't know grammar?"
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RE: First attempt to write with all three scripts

Postby Yudan Taiteki » Sat 01.20.2007 8:46 pm

angstycoder wrote:
4. Duly noted. I actually used to make them very separated, but everything except the book I learned from shows them in what appeared to me to be one break-free piece.


This is just a difference between the typeset form of the characters and the way you handwrite it. It's sort of like how few people handwrite "a" like that (or the other "g" that appears in some fonts).
-Chris Kern
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RE: First attempt to write with all three scripts

Postby richvh » Sat 01.20.2007 8:50 pm

A couple of things Chris didn't hit on that I noticed:

1. Stroke 2 of た is curving to the right at the bottom. It took me a while to figure out it was a た because of that. Keep it straight, or if anything, have it curve to the left just a bit.
2. It looks like you're making the center crossbar of そ as a seperate stroke. It isn't, it's all one stroke (in those fonts where it's two strokes, it's the top portion where the pen/brush lifts.)
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RE: First attempt to write with all three scripts

Postby angstycoder » Sat 01.20.2007 9:13 pm

richvh wrote:
A couple of things Chris didn't hit on that I noticed:

1. Stroke 2 of た is curving to the right at the bottom. It took me a while to figure out it was a た because of that. Keep it straight, or if anything, have it curve to the left just a bit.
2. It looks like you're making the center crossbar of そ as a seperate stroke. It isn't, it's all one stroke (in those fonts where it's two strokes, it's the top portion where the pen/brush lifts.)


Noted on た ; I tend to make it like a t() (well, rotate the parentheses 90 degrees :)

そ is all one stroke, but it's very ackward. I'll work on that.

Thank You!
angstycoder: "指の臨死体験"
kagemaru: ? ? ?
angstycoder: "I meant finger has near death experience"
kagemaru "doesn't work. You said 'Finger of near death experience'"
angstycoder: "Did I mention I don't know grammar?"
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RE: First attempt to write with all three scripts

Postby prep_girl_Nessa » Sat 01.20.2007 9:17 pm

Do you really have to write さ with a space? I have always written it without one and it would be hard to change it now (I have difficultly loosing bad habits) but if it's absolutely necessary I will.
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RE: First attempt to write with all three scripts

Postby Yudan Taiteki » Sat 01.20.2007 10:41 pm

It depends on what you mean by "really have to" and "absolutely necessary." Writing さ without a space is incorrect. However, it will not seriously affect anyone's ability to read your handwriting.
Last edited by Yudan Taiteki on Sat 01.20.2007 10:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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