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E-mail help

Feel free to practice writing in Japanese or romaji. Help each other out with corrections or replying back in Japanese

E-mail help

Postby dormedas » Thu 02.15.2007 12:50 pm

Hello, I'm new to the forum, as well as new to writing letters in japanese.

I'm using JWPce to aid me but it's not helping me much. I can find words and the like but I'm worried about redundancy, and certain parts of grammar.

All I have thus far would be 3 lines, and at that, in english, it looks redundant.
私はイアンです。どうぞ宜しく。
私はハイスクール学生です。
私はあなたのhomestay学生です。

What I think I'm writing is:
I am Ian. Pleased to meet you.
I am a high school student.
I am your homestay student.

I know something, if not a lot, is off in there, so please point it out.

I can't read a lot of hiragana very well, and I don't have an extensive knowledge of nouns and verbs. My grammar is OK, i guess. No, I don't know Kanji very well, nor a lot. Please don't laugh at me, hehe.

I reccomend english when replying to me or else the post will be of no avail.(that said, don't convert my letter into romaji)
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RE: E-mail help

Postby ess_jay_arr » Thu 02.15.2007 1:29 pm

Hey, sorry, this'll actually make your letter even shorter, but you shouldn't use '私は' repetatively like that. You just don't need to. After the first instance, it's understood that you're speaking about yourself, so just 'ハイスクール学生です。' is fine.

In fact, I've even heard that using '私は' repeatedly can sound quite arrogant. Probably, no-one would think that of a beginner, but it's good to get out of the habit.

Also, I'm not positive, but I think どうぞよろしく would usually just be written in hiragana. Like I said, I'm not sure, maybe someone else can confirm.
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RE: E-mail help

Postby richvh » Thu 02.15.2007 1:41 pm

"High school student" is normally 高校生(こうこうせい)
"Homestay" is either ホームステイ or 家庭滞在(かていたいざい)

You could drop most of the 私はs.
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RE: E-mail help

Postby dormedas » Thu 02.15.2007 2:15 pm

Thanks for the prompt corrections; I changed accordingly, and added a little to the email. The email was originally to introduce myself to him before late march when he actually comes for a homestay for a week.

The updated letter:
私はイアンです。どうぞよろしく。
高校生です。
あなたのホームステイ学生です。
全然をスポーツしません。
くださいはやく返答。

The last sentence I'm unsure of in a grammatical sense.

Again, I think I'm saying:
I am Ian. Pleased to meet you.
(I am) a highschool student/in highschool.
(I am) your homestay student.
(I) play no sports at all.
Please reply soon.


I think I shouldn't use "homestay student" ( あなたのホームステイ学生です )
The only reason why I put student in is because the homestay is provided through the school.
Last edited by dormedas on Thu 02.15.2007 2:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: E-mail help

Postby richvh » Thu 02.15.2007 2:21 pm

Corrections on the added lines.
全然スポーツをしません。
はやく返答してください。
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RE: E-mail help

Postby ess_jay_arr » Thu 02.15.2007 2:35 pm

dormedas wrote:
I think I shouldn't use "homestay student" ( あなたのホームステイ学生です )
The only reason why I put student in is because the homestay is provided through the school.


So, he's coming to stay with you, you're not going to stay with him? Because in that case, isn't he your homestay student, not the other way round? I think I would put this;

私達はあなたのホームステイ家族です。
watashi-tachi wa anata no homestay kazoku desu.
We are your homestay family.

I don't know if that's what they actually call a homestay family in Japanese, but it makes sense grammatically, and he'll definately understand what you mean.

Oh, by the way, I don't know if you know this already, but at the beginning of the letter, you can put the guy's name followed by the hiragana へ to say 'to (whoever)', and at the end, put イアンより to say 'from Ian'.
Last edited by ess_jay_arr on Thu 02.15.2007 2:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: E-mail help

Postby dormedas » Thu 02.15.2007 2:53 pm

I changed the sentence with the one provided by ess, thanks.
I tacked on one extra sentence so that he doesn't think I'm very fluent in japanese even though this has aided me much.
のぶゆきーさんへ
私はイアンです。どうぞよろしく。
高校生です。
私達はあなたのホームステイ家族です。
全然スポーツをしません。
これ架電を補助受け取ました。
はやく返答してください。
余り日本語が話せません。
イアンより

"これ架電を補助受け取ました。"

I think that means "I recieved help on this email." although I know "help" is in the wrong place since I don't know where to put it.

"余り日本語が話せません。"
(amari nihongo ga hanasemasen.)
I think that means I can't speak japanese very well"
Last edited by dormedas on Thu 02.15.2007 2:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: E-mail help

Postby richvh » Thu 02.15.2007 3:17 pm

"これ架電を補助受け取ました。"

I think that means "I recieved help on this email." although I know "help" is in the wrong place since I don't know where to put it.


メール is the usual term for email, you should use この rather than これ before a noun, and the idiom you should use for receiving corrections is 直してもらう(なおしてもらう), so that sentence should be:
このメールを直してもらいました。

The last line is OK, but あまり is usually written in kana, and you might want to replace 話せません with できません, which would cover reading, writing and listening as well as speaking.
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RE: E-mail help

Postby ess_jay_arr » Thu 02.15.2007 3:19 pm

dormedas wrote:
"これ架電を補助受け取ました。"


Well, I don't know all that many kanji, so I'll admit I can't actually read that, but it still looks wrong. :P

これ is only used for 'this' on its own, when 'this' is used with another word, it's この, as in 'このメール' which means 'this e-mail', and '(I) was helped' is '手伝われました'. Funnily enough, I'm having trouble thinking of exactly how to say 'with'. :P

I think I'd put; このメールには手伝われました。 You might wanna wait for someone else to check this.

Also, I'd rearrange those last three lines into;

余り日本語が話せません。
このメールには手伝われました。
はやく返答してください。

Oh, and there's no need for a dash in のぶゆきさんへ. :)

EDIT - Ah, I was beaten to it. Ignore me, listen to the Admin. :P
Last edited by ess_jay_arr on Thu 02.15.2007 3:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: E-mail help

Postby coco » Thu 02.15.2007 8:23 pm

dormedas wrote:
I can't read a lot of hiragana very well, and I don't have an extensive knowledge of nouns and verbs. My grammar is OK, i guess. No, I don't know Kanji very well, nor a lot.

I think you should write your e-mail in English and roma-ji. If you write e-mail by hiragana and kanji, のぶゆきさん will reply back in hiragana and kanji.
Then you will ask some one's help to translate his reply on this forum.
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RE: E-mail help

Postby dormedas » Fri 02.16.2007 4:13 pm

coco wrote:
I think you should write your e-mail in English and roma-ji. If you write e-mail by hiragana and kanji, のぶゆきさん will reply back in hiragana and kanji.
Then you will ask some one's help to translate his reply on this forum.


The kanji might mess me up, but if he doesn't reply with kanji, with a dictionary, I could probably get the gist of his message.

That may be true, but I'm prepared to try to translate it. My little collection of dictionaries should aid me. I might not be able to read it but will try my best. Also, he filled out a biography sheet for the his school to send to my school, and he speaks pretty good english.
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