i might, but first i would like a third party opinion, any critisism or edits would be very useful.
"In the Shadow"
Prologue..
Enter the forbidden land…
It was just unfair. How can any man know the fate of a person is that of a cursed destiny, as Lord Emon did? Was it not he that taught us all that only the Divine powers above could determine the fate and destiny of mankind? Mono, please forgive me. There wasn’t a thing that I could have done that would have prevented it. Why sacrifice you as if your death will bring the people a better life? I tried to stop him from thrusting that dagger into your heart, had I known anything about this. Why would you keep this from me, my love? You must have your own reasons for not telling me, and now you are gone. But I may have a solution, my love. Emon said your destiny was that of a curse where death comes to you, and now here you are, limp, lifeless, and yet, still beautiful as I remember. A while ago, I heard Emon speaking to a commoner. He spoke of a forbidden land, to the south and past many mountains, where there is a shrine that could bring you to life. Emon called it, the Shrine of Worship, and the land around it the Forbidden Land. The penalty of entering this land is banishment, and the forbidden ritual being attempted or completed is death on sight. But I do not care. Later tonight, my love, I will set out with your lifeless being, and find this Shrine of Worship so you may live again. I vow upon the almighty Gods themselves, I will pay any price to see you have a second chance at life, even if I have to pay with my own…
and please, if you think its bad, be subtle about it. i get enough hate just for being gay, let alone a bad writer, here.
Thanx.
