Clay in Japan
I have lived in Japan for a while now. I feel it is due time to reflect on this and try to draw a theory of gaijinic living in Japan. If the reader will forgive a few anecdotal irrelevances, I shall present my theory as a pictorial view of life in Japan through the eyes of a gaijin.
LAW #1: The first Law of Gaijin is, Gaijin like sumo. The above picture attests to this fact. I am a文化家 'bunkake' (a cultured book-worm who abhors sports and physical activity.) So, I will never be caught dead watching a baseball game on tv, but when it comes to Sumo - I'm there!
LAW #2: Gaijin are wanted as models and other unsettling roles - AND they have to wear strange gaijinic things. <SEE PHOTO AT LEFT> Yes, <Gulp>. That's me in the <GULP AGAIN> blue suit. I got paid $100, but it hardly seems worth it when everyone else got to wear really cool samurai-like clothes! This law extends to doing other things where English or a gaijinique mood is required. I have even had the experience of doing a TV commercial. Thankfully, it was not shown in my prefecture.
LAW #3: A gaijin's desk is always messy. This law by extension also applies to apartments and backseats/trunks of cars. Should anyone doubt this claim, I have more photographs. (Notice how the gaijin in his natural environment saves space for his coffee cup and electronic dictionary. - two of the most essential daily tools.) Granted my test subjects are relatively few (myself and ...), but wherever I go, this phenomenon extends itself around me. In fact, I have evidence of this phenomenon EVERYWHERE I go. Coincidence? The evidence is against such a conclusion.
LAW #4: Gaijin have the most interesting adventure stories while on vacation. Here am I, trying desperately to stay within camera view on my honeymoon in Singapore. It was an interesting trip.